cheers!!

*with wine glasses up: a toast to a bigger and better new year!!

materially speaking -> more money, better clothes, cooler parties, good food, better booze.. haha!
physically speaking -> less weight (hey, a lot can relate), good health (hope i'm cured in the mornin'.hehe), longer sleep, more exercise
mentally speaking -> better grades!!!!, and better memory (hhhmmmm)
emotionally speaking -> no more downs on my so-called "love life" (please please!! i get hurt..owee), less sleepless nights thinking of..., more satisfaction in stuff (i think i'm emotionally ayt, not much probs 'ere)
spiritually speaking -> continuous growth in my walk with God

happy partying and karaoke singing!!
no getting drunk ayt??
don't lose any body parts if you're planning to light up some fire crackers or sumthin..

have a great new year!! yep yep!!

P.S. i still kinda wished for somethin better to end my year..but oh well.. if that's it, then ok.. but still 2005 ain't my kind of year..sowee.. at least novemeber to december made it far better than it was supposed to be! hoping 2006 will sweep me off my feet.. :)

happy holidays

amidst all the hardships, loneliness and pain...
people still find it best to celebrate this joyous occasion
no matter how simple or lacking things may be
life is complete 'cause of the reason of this season
thank you Jesus Christ..
without you there would be no gifts under the tree
no beautiful carols to sing
no lechon or cake on the noche buena table
no CHRISTmas
thank you for giving us reasons to wake up each morning and say
God loves me and 'cause of Him today is a new day

MERRY CHRISTMAS y'all!!!
hoping that you'll keep in your hearts the reason for the season!

*sigh

The heart has its reasons that reason does not know.
-Blaise Pascal

the lil dreamer in me

if you present it to me
with a flower in the moonlight
all shiny and new
then i couldn't say no to that

tonight could be our lucky night
____________________________

and now...a song...wala lang..

If I Keep my Heart out of Sight
James Taylor

If I keep on talking now
I'll only start repeating myself
And all I can say is
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you

If I slip and tip my hand
I'm certain to scare you away
Then what would I say
I'd be hurting I'm certain
I'd be uncool to let you know that you're the one
The fool who jumped the gun

'Cause I've been advised by other guys
You've left behind
Your goodbyes are somewhat unrefined
But if I play my role just right
Tonight could be my lucky night
And you could be mine

If I present it to you
With a flower in the moonlight
Shiny and new
Well, you couldn't say no tonight
If I keep my heart out of sight

If I play my role just right
Then Tonight could be my lucky night
And you could be mine

If I present it to you
With a flower in the moonlight
Oh, shiny and new
Well, you couldn't say no tonight
If I keep my heart out of sight

freeverse

she walks down the path she always takes
barren yet beautiful, lonesome yet peaceful
the path she knew like the back of her hand
the path she learned by heart, or so she thought
a rose was lying in the middle of the road
recently left behind and still having it's exquisiteness
it hasn't lost the thing it symbolizes the best

she picks up the rose and holds it tight
allowing the thorns to pierce through her delicate skin
"help me remember, teach me again"
no matter how beautiful the rose was, its thorns were as strong as its beauty

she lets go of the rose

the pain dies down
but the figure of its beauty remains
she lets go of love after getting hurt
the pain dies down
but the beauty haunts her

the rose is gently then roughly blown away by the wind
she runs, she leaps, she flies...
she stops as the wind blows the rose back at her feet
she ends up in another path
blossoming, magnificent, harmonious, unforgettable
she picks up the rose and removes the thorns

and i ask her, is she all set to take that path
one unknown to her, one she has to discover..
she smiles and tells me, "i am, if he takes me with him"
she waits for his hand as she tells him.. "take it, i am ready but i can't walk it alone"

now i'm sitting here...wondering what he'll say

utak at puso

ang utak ko ay isa sa pinakakomplikadong parte ng aking katawan
ngunit malayong mas komplikado ang puso
kaya't ito'y aking pinatahimik ng dahan dahan
at hinayaang ang utak muna ang magpatakbo ng damdaming nakakatukso

isipin niyo nang kakaiba ako nung pinili ko ito
pero itong kaibahan na ito ay aking paninindigan
hindi ko ikinakahiya na ako'y lumayo muna sa gulo
ikinatutuwa ko pa nga na di muna ako masasaktan

maaari nga na maraming sa aki'y di makakaintindi
dahil nga naman sa panahon ngayon, uso ata ang umibig
pero aamin ako, minsa'y ninais ko rin ito
pero bago pa mahulog ang loob ay bumitaw muna ako

ngunit di niyo ba naisip na ilaan na lang ang sarili
sa taong sigurado kang mamahalin ka ano man ang mangyari?
di niyo ba naisip na masakit na
ang paulit ulit na paglaglag ng puso mo at ang madaliang pagsauli nito?

ikabibilib ko lamang ang taong makakapagsabi sa aking puso
na panahon na upang sumama ito sa pagpapatakbo ng buhay ko
pag ito'y mangyari na, sana nga yun na ang taong hinintay
ang taong binuo ng Panginoon para sa isang tulad ko

ugh..

yeah yeah...i do..i do miss you...*sigh
wishing you do too

you say i'm a bitch like it's a bad thing :p

oUt of rEach

just a phase..and that single, sweet, unforgettable phase which was you is one of the most cherished phases of my life..and i thank you for that.. for the laughs, the jokes, for being a friend, and sometimes for me you were a little more, and still i am grateful.. you never knew it but you came at the right time and bailed me out during one of my lower moments in life..i never told you but you made me smile for no reason, laugh out loud at the simplest of things, focus when people around me couldn't and be inspired once again by something real..

but you are only a face...only a phase..only a smile..only a dream..out of reach for i never had your heart and you never had mine..and i wanna say goodbye to that period, to that stage, i'm closing the chapter..i just had to..i just have to..

i wanted to stop before i started dreaming, i needed a break before things got out of hand, i had to caution myself and not wait to get hurt, i needed to stay here or else i'd fall.. no matter how strong, heartless or weird i may seem, fragile is one of the words to describe me..and knowing me, i wouldn't want an unnecessary crack again..

with that i am bowing out..keeping with me the fantasy of what could have been yet standing firmly again on the ground of reality..but i am still grateful..and i still wouldn't close the book.. or throw away the goods, even though it has passed it's expiration date...

Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.

Jane Austen (1775 - 1817), Northanger Abbey

Rainbow Connection

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
and what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
and rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard
and answered when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it.
Look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us star gazing
and what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

All of us under its spell. We know that it's probably magic.

Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that called the young sailors.
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm supposed to be.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

woopee!! i finally remembered to get the lyrics of this song :) i have no idea why i like it so much.. haha..probably cause i wanna find it..the rainbow connection.. with the lovers and the dreamers.. hehe!! imma post something again soon...

rain on my sunny day

last december 3, 2005 our family was hit hard by two contradicting emotions --> elation and grief..

my cousin was set to walk down the aisle at 3.30pm that saturday and she did.. but on 12noon that same day, we were all shocked and greatly grieved by the news of our tito's death.. we tried our best to go on with the wedding, not telling the bride, her dad (cause my tito was his bro) and our lola (the mom of my tito).. but one by one they all had to know after the wedding and you can just imagine how terribly painful that felt..

one weird thing about that day was the super sunny weather but the very strong rains... it seemed to reflect what our family was feeling that day..happy for someone close to us who would start a new life with her husband, and sad for our tito's beautiful life has ended...

my tito art, died of a massive heart attack.. though he was experiencing chest pains for a while, his death was very much unexpected.. at the age of 65, he left his wife and three grown-up children, and two of them were set to marry next year..during the morning of the day of his death, he looked well enough to be able to get past his previous mild heart attack and go home soon..and he actually said he would.. no one realized that HOME for him that day would mean a very different thing from our house in proj.4 or their house in Lucena..he went home with God, free from the pain he felt and the struggles he may face in our world.. his death, though unexpected by his family, was actually peaceful and prepared.. first of all he set up this business which he already left to his son, another for his wife, and then he helped his other son secure a house, and he already met with his daughters future husband... and he also died knowing that he was well-loved and he left a family who also knew that they were loved..

seeing another person in the family made me realize that 'hey, life is fleeting' and there is only so much years left to make a difference, leave a dent, and have a legacy. my tito art was like that.. a man who made a difference in the workplace, a good example as a father and as a brother, and one who raised his children well and left with all of his brothers, sisters and pamangkins an image of someone to look up to and probably someone they could all be willing to follow.. :)

too many thorns

don't cry little girl, let me hold you
but i will also teach you to let go
hold tight darling, 'cause this may be the last time you do
and in the mirror, stare once again at the face you know

make no mistake of desiring what you already know is wrong
slowly cleanse your hands of the stains of your own blood
let go of the rose that you've been holding for too long
and throw away the thorns as you heal from wounds they've caused

run as fast as the wind blows through your hair
feel the freedom of no sorrows, taste the sweetness of pure delight
leap as high as you could, rest in one's tender loving care
resist remembering the sting of thorns, and please stay with what you feel is right

now to this exquisite lady, finishing my little girl's path
keep in mind all that she has on her own discovered
bask in the glow of her charm and innocence
yet take on life with the wisdom she has rightfully earned

though my little girl has picked too many thorns on the way
let this dear lady cast all the little girl foolishness aside
yes, the girl has left too many scars for the lady not to remember
but the lady should know, that this scars are what made her resilient and strong

tough as my lady may be, please tone down the hardness of my little girl's heart
one could never forget the hurts, but one should learn to break the walls and open doors
learn from them but do not let them hinder you from seeing life beautifully again
hold your hands tight but open them to one able to hold them tighter

take a look at yourself, my once radiant, kind and strong child
and always say to yourself that there can never be too many thorns
there can never be enough to break you and pull you down
because God is always with you,
and you were strong enough to grow into the lady you now are

flashback

"hello pa, guess what i passed chem!!" -moi (during distribution of grades)

it's been quite a while since my last post and i'm on my 2nd week of the 2nd semester.. and so far, so good! yep..that's all i have to say about that.. :)

hahaha..nah..seriously now.. at times when i sit in the cafeteria, eating and checking out my histology book.. listening to the latest gossip on artistas which some of my friends are fond of..or walking in campus, rushing to class while taking time to smell the roses..haha! those times, they're all still surreal to me.. damn, i actually am still in school.. oh but it ain't all perfect.. that 1st sem rocked my world in a really harsh way.. one thing i wouldn't forget.. a time where i actually lost my footing and fell of the stage where i played the lead role..and yeah, i am still finding my way back.. just taking baby steps this time so i won't fall too hard the next time around.. and it's great to know that you have God on your side.. 'cause seriously, if i didn't realize that, i'd be a hopeless piece of crap right now.. and that's bad.. one line that hit me during my debut..something cyndee said about me.. "It will take a lot more than a few setbacks and disappointments to bring her down." for a moment there, i realized that i lost that part of me and this time i'm trying to get it back.. and i think that i'm right on track this time around.. especially when people around me never fail to brighten my days.. :)

i am human

no matter how strong i perceive myself to be
no matter how strong people see me
my resilience, though powerful, is greatly limited
and how quickly i put my guard up can easily be delayed

i try to put a smile on everyone's face
even though deep inside me i have lost all grace
i have fought long and hard enough
still i know i may wind up defeated in the end

i am human and i know it
i can't withstand all pain and risk all things
i want someone to catch me when i fall
when i fly i need someone else's wings

most of the time, i freely give myself
but please still allow me to be self-seeking when i should be
take time to listen as i complain, whine, grumble, and cry
and i would willingly give you my shoulder when you're hurt

believe me when i tell you to
trust me when i need a hand to be held in harsh times
put your hand over my shoulder when i say i'm cold
love me unconditionally, fall for my imperfections

stay by my side even when i don't ask of it
think of my pride as a kid's yearning for an embrace
take me in your arms though i act independent
hold me and tell me you'll never let go

i've realized we aren't meant to be alone
as i saw it through the eyes of those who suffered loss
i fooled myself into thinking i can stand on my own
yet blindly i was leaning on friends who willingly stood with me

i am human and i know it
i get hurt, i suffer loss and i'm meant to get over it
though time took away the pain, i decided to leave the scars there
knowing that someday, they'll remind me of how lucky i may end up to be

i am human and i know it
though insecurities weigh me down and life may 'cause me to falter
somewhere there is someone watching over me
one strong and powerful enough to pull me up no matter how deep down i fall

some of the 18 whispers to the wind.. :)

What car model would han be?

Well.. Obviously, she would be a Lancer MX dark blue with plate number KRS707.. Why? Kasi.. Dahil ky Han nakakarating ako sa aking paroroonan.. nax! She makes me feel safe with her seatbelts and airbags.. Nagkaroon ako ng maraming friends sapagkat maraming tao ang gustong makihitch.. Minsan ay traffic at puro MMDA ang buhay, tinutulungan ako ni Han by giving music/movies for entertainment and super strong horsepower for speedy color-coding getaways.. Her magic tints and airconditioning unit protects me from the harmful rays and heat of the outside world.. She helps me see things in a clear perspective with her automatic soap water spraying thingy and cool wipers.. Her leather reclinable seats make me comfortable when I’m with her.. She even has spacious compartments for all my problems..
Sa totoo lang, Han needs special attention that is why linilinis ko siya kapag siyay marumi and I try to make her a better person by upgrading her parts.. If only we try to understand Han and look deep inside her, my makikita tayong isang nilalang na pangalan ay Bumbong, isang doggy na pinangalan sa putobumbong dahil sa kulay niya which is coincidentally Han’s favorite color..
So Han, I wish you an easy and safe drive in life.. Don’t stop if you encounter road blocks along the way.. Learn to take a detour and continue your journey with God navigating in the passenger seat.. Happy 18^th Birthday Powerpuff! -- Harm

What’s the weather forecast when Hannah is around?

Well, in Hannah-ville, I would have to say that it is mostly sunny with light to moderate winds, rarely cloudy or stormy, resistant to drastic weather changes, with temperatures ranging from 24 to 30 degrees Celsius…just perfect! And I say this because Han possesses this amazing aura that radiates from her wherever she may be. She has been such an inspiration to me and I’m sure to a lot of other people, because of her positive disposition and her insatiable thirst for life. It will take a lot more than a few setbacks and disappointments to bring her down. She lights up a room with her mere presence and creates a warm, inviting atmosphere for everyone.

My dear Hannah, I am so proud you, of the young lady you have become, and of the things that you have accomplished.

My wish tonight is for you to remain a guiding light for your family, your friends, and your loved ones. Maintain the perfect weather in Hannah-ville, because everyone just loves visiting. I pray that you will continue to touch the lives of everyone around you and continue to grow in the Lord. Happy happy 18^th birthday, Sweetie! I love you! = Cyndee =

happy birthday to me

check out the pics in--> http://hanmadebliss.multiply.com

cheers to a new chapter in my life!! hehe! i'm 18 na and my birthday was well celebrated!!! and at this point in life i know that i'm blessed :) though life may be totally imperfect there are so many things to remind you that it doesn't need to be... as long as it's close enough.. (yes, using floyd's words in his 18 jewels dedication..hehe).. my party was fun pero sayang 'cause a lot of people weren't able to go.. yan ang hirap pag sembreak ang birthday mo.. haha! but it was all good! people were game enough to wear bohemian outfits, even the guys!! thanks so much!! the dedications made by the 18 jewels and the wishes given by the 18 whispers to the wind were all touching.. :) some were really well thought of, galeeeng!!! hehe! thank God i was able to have my debut..everything was totally a blessing.. the centerpieces were free, daming discounted.. grabe! God rocks talaga!! so cheers again to a new journey..hopefully, things will be mostly sunny! :)

ok...so today is Nov. 7, 2005.. gRades and regform distribution in ateneo.. and it turns out, i won't be shifting after all!!! by some miracle i actually passed chem! and i only have one 'person' in mind who is wholly responsible for that.. GOD!!!!!!!!! asteeeeg!!! through this experience i actually learned na he is truly always in control...now i know i'm on the right track so i'm gonna keep going.. but this time i'll do far better...this is my future, something important..it's BIG! so thanks God for giving me another chance!!! so here i go once again!!!! dancing and singing all the way but working hard enough to make it big in this life of mine!

bOo!!

bored during nights/ mornings like these?? answer quizzes.. hahaha!!!

http://www.blogthings.com/quizzes/

lucky 9

Day 4 of Filinvest 1 'House Arrest'

By 6pm the doorbell rang and the money arrived.. *wink.. :) my ninang in states sent me money to help out in my debut!! cooL!! and it finally arrived today.. which is a good thing because i don't have to wait for it all day here at home.. tita biday and i checked out the clubhouse a while ago, and it looked nice enough..prettier than i originally expected.. by nightfall, my friends bothered me! haha.. naah!! it was all good.. jun, carls, karlo, and archie came to visit..sayang wala si lara! :c i hope next time kasama na siya...the more the merrier!!! hehe! and then i watched some TV to kill time.. i didn't actually get to watch much TV here even if there's cable.. haha!! the chilling at my room part seemed more appealing..one highlight of my day would be chatting with my bestfriend for 3 hours and we talked about anything and everything!! i'm so relieved and happy that i could tell her anything no matter how bad it is... she's super irreplaceable..and at times like these, how i wish she was right here.. but thanks to technology, there are times that i feel she actually is here.. hehe! ok ok..what else can i say? i think that's basically it.. i wanna wake up for breakfast tomorrow, so i'm gonna stop going on and on 'bout my simple day.. toodles.. :)

this shows that i'm bored

SOME QUESTIONS I GOT SOMEWHERE
1.Last place uv been to: clubhouse, checking where my party's gonna be held
2. you are: waiting for my friends to arrive
3. They say you are: crazy
4. Yesterday: was wednesday
5. Last person who texted you? karlo
6. Last person you called? karlo
7. Last name in your received calls? floyd
8. How old are you? 17
9. What music is playing? the dribbling of the ball in the basketball court outside
10. Last thing you drank? orange juice
11. Last thing you bought for yourself: load
12. You want to: sleep
13. You really like: to go out and party
14. You have a crush on: like i'd tell the whole world..
15. You really hate: chem!!!

HAVE YOU EVER:
1. got wasted? nope
2. ran away? nope
3. had ur heart broken? sadly yeah..
4. cried when someone died? uh huh..
5. broken a bone? yup, in my right elbow..
6. cried in school? yep..

WHO:
1. your good luck charm? probably my dog
2. person u hate most? hmmmm..my chem teacher!!!
3. makes u laugh d most? ninjas!!!
4. makes u smile? family, friends and my dog
5. has a crush on u? even if i did know, im not d type to broadcast that.

DO YOU:
1. sit by the phone waiting for a call all night? nooo..i have a life..haha!
2. chat online? yup.. ym & google talk
3. save emails? yah, its the deleting part that i don't do much
4. wish u were someone else? yep, kristin kreuk.. hehe!! but i'm happy as me na rin!
5. cry in front of friends? when it can't be avoided

SO:
1. do you get jealous easily? yep, but i don't show it
2. what have u been doing these past few days? pigging out, planning my debut, sleeping
3. what are you thinking about now? tagal dumating nila karlo!!!! tsktsk...
4. what did you do last night? watch CSI.. :)
5. what did you last say to a friend last night? good night..
6. when will you marry? ideally, by the age of 25(if i won't be a doctor) or 30(if i will be a doctor)
7. When did u last receive a gift? um..christmas.. haha!!
8. when did you last drink alcoholic beverages? last saturday...
9. what was your greatest bet ever made? i don't make bets..
10. is all fair in love? true love, maybe..
11. most romantic words? will you marry me.. *coming from the guy of your dreams...
12. would you give up your career for love? depends, if i'm making the big money why give it up???

doggy day

Day 3 of Filinvest 'House Arrest'

my 3rd day here in filinvest was basically spent by bonding with my dog.. i woke up at 12nn today (back to my usual sleeping habits), which means i missed breakfast.. well, that's alright i guess..i'm not much of a breakfast eater..then after lunch i watched some TV and by 3pm decided that my dog and i deserved a long walk..so i called my brothers and we had a long walk around the village, bought some drinks and snacks and then brought my super thirsty dog back home.. we then settled by watching our anger management DVD and the rest of the day i was just here facing my PC..that's basically how my third day went.. my debut accomplishment for today would be calling the caterer and asking for the fully computed price.. and that's done.. now, i'm off to bed.. toodles!

they got it right!!

***The Keys to Your Heart***


You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.


What Are The Keys To Your Heart?
http://www.blogthings.com/keystoyourheartquiz/

Day 2 of Filinvest 'House Arrest'

I woke up at 7am this morning feeling gloomier than yesterday. I didn't even visit my dog today and maybe i'll do just that right after this post. But i finally finished reading 'The Vampire Lestat' by Anne Rice and i sort of regret it because i no longer have any books to read. Sadly, i forgot my 'to read' stash at home. What's worse is that i didn't even bring my CD collection or my mp3 player, which is why i'm having a very silent vacation. at night i fall asleep listening to the wind being blown at me by that huge electric fan in my room or when i listen real hard i could hear the slow and steady beating of my heart. that's how still and silent this place is, even when my brothers and cousins are around, there's that unmistakable hush that you just can't break. though it makes me feel sad and lonely at times, in a weird way i have fallen in love with the silence. It has become a way for me to listen in on what God has to say and time for me to hear the hush whispers of things i have never thought about. Just two days have passed yet i feel that pieces of me have changed a bit. and though i am still a wrecked puzzle, some parts are already in place. I am finding me again and even if this journey to complete myself is a long way from being finished, the fact that i am willing to start it is a big enough leap.

bored on a sembreak

You know, life's funny that way. Once you let go of the wheel, you might end up right where you belong. -- Stacy (Little Black Book)

i'm shifting..once i get an F.. i'll be getting my grades on November 7.. watch out for that.. though grades aren't everything.. this time around, it's gonna be my deciding point... maybe i'm just not meant to be a doctor.. and i talked to God, asked him to make this F a sign.. no F= doctor.. and if there's an F, well He has a better plan for me.. and that's the exciting part.. 'cause in life, it's God who should be the driving instructor and you're gonna be the driving student.. and once you make a mistake, He's there to hit the brakes and turn you around..

Day 1 of Filinvest 'House Arrest'
Here i am in my tita's house, babysitting my bros who don't need babysitting...haha!! but i'm not complaining.. i like it here.. i have my own big bed, i get to use the computer and TV anytime i want.. i sleep early and then i get to have breakfast in the morning..the best part is i get to spend time with my lovable doggy!! i had a full day today.. woke up at 6.30am and helped my dog remove that bone stuck in her teeth.. then watched TV a bit.. ate breakfast around 7.30 am.. then slept again..woke up for lunch..after lunch i chatted with my bestfriend..then went to filhai, bought some stuff and paid my reservetion fee for the clubhouse.. then watched a movie.. and right now, i'm just waiting for dinner to be served..haha!! that's my day.. wow!!

i'll be posting again tomorrow..something better i hope.. haha!! :)

chilling at home

i know that there are a million things to do just to kill time here at the house, but i just don't know what they are..which is why i'm bored to death and sometimes daydreaming away while sitting on the sofa trying to come up with fun things to do on a sembreak..don't get me wrong, i have accomplished some stuff already.. *applause!!* but i've got so many time on my hands and only a few things left to do..haha! no, not really...

ok..bits and pieces of my sembreak so far: i'm trying to finish 'the vampire Lestat' by Anne Rice.. it's good really.. very well written.. i'm enjoying it but i have to stop once my eyes ache... hay, impluwensiya ni archie!!! haha.. i cleaned my room already.. well a bit..haha..still have to 'reclean'..probably tomorrow...or on friday...basta..i will...i enjoyed my bro's birthday where i had to make cake for all his classmates.. i love making ref cake!!! :) haha! and he's 13 already..nax..young man...haha! i've done lotsa stuff for my debut na.. hmmm..some invitations were already sent out.. cool..

oh..and i suddenly ran out of things to say.. haay.. will post something far better soon.. really, i will.. :)

just posting lyrics

You Set Me Free
Michelle Branch

Can't you see?
There's a feeling that's come over me
Close my eyes
You're the only one that leaves me completely breathless

No need to wonder why
Sometimes a gift like this you can't deny

'Cause I wanted to fly,
so you gave me your wings
And time held its breath so I could see, yeah
And you set me free

There's a will
There's a way
Sometimes words just can't explain
This is real
I'm afraid
I guess this time there's just no hiding, fighting
You make me restless

You're in my heart
The only light that shines
there in the dark

'Cause I wanted to fly,
so you gave me your wings
And time held its breath so I could see, yeah
And you set me free

When I was alone
You came around
When I was down
You pulled me through
And there's nothing that
I wouldn't do for you

'Cause I wanted to fly,
so you gave me your wings
And time held its breath so I could see, yeah
And you set me free

mixed nuts

lament

yep, even if i'm on vacation and people are partying left and right, i still can't cover up the fact that i'm sad and slightly depressed... it sucks being like this..i don't want to go on drinking sprees and i don't want to go through my 'summer semi-breakdown' again...i don't wanna be like this.. but i can't seem to get over it..i told myself and my folks that i'm strong enough.. but i guess not.. i hate failing.. and what i hate more is faling twice..i know the grades haven't come out yet.. but i'm not expecting much compassion from my chem teacher..she doesn't seem to show any hint of it..

unfinished business

my debut plans have finally moved.. i've accomplished the invites but i still need envelopes and have to give them away, i've informed the 18 wishes and 18 roses..but i still think the name wishes and roses are too traditional or conventional.. i have to think of better names for that..hmmm..i found the perfect skirt :).. i bought the give aways.. well, so far that's it.. i need to finish the script for the hosts next..so that's my 'to do'..

happy moments

i went out with my kada last saturday..admittedly, bitin.. but at least i got to see those guys again..we just watched a movie, walked around gb3, then tambay sa absinth..the usual i guess..but i can't wait to hang out with them again soon.. for a much longer time.. *wink.. jei called..perfect timing..i miss that girl so much.. and how i wish she was hanging with us again..basta, i can't wait for friday and saturday..haha!! i'll be seeing the ninjas soon.. :) *jumping with joy..

....here's to a more fun filled sembreak and hopefully my lament won't last that long... *wine glasses toast..

oh by the way

i deleted my tabulas account...just in case your looking for it.. i figured (finally) that having two blogs is a waste of time and energy..and um add my multiply: http://hanmadebliss.multiply.com
(i think the blog is trying to correct my spelling: hanmade to handmade..but 4 my multiply remove the d.. there you have it..or just go to my links page and click hanmadebliss)

so there..i post entries there once in a while.. so if you get bored with my blogspot..check my multiply.. hahaha!! and please tag here in blogspot ok?? it's fun really.. haha.. ok, i'm just bored or probably drained from all those chem equations..i'll be posting again soon.. :)

oktoberfest na!!

i may not be a beer drinker but i just can't help but feel the party atmosphere?? or maybe i just can't wait for sembreak to start... or maybe because i was in eastwood last october1 partying jazz style coz of cyndee's debut..

one more week to go and i'm gonna run out of school!! yep.. run.. if school would be going longer than that, i'm bound to explode!!! people tell me maybe i should shift.. and that's actually an option for me.. let's just try this sem out...if i fail just one subject..i may actually quit bio.. i'll probably do extra well in some other field..

but i keep asking... how do you measure success?? is it all about the grades or is it in the enjoyment of becoming what you wanna be no matter how long and painful it takes?? haaay... i know the answer would be the latter, but then how would you know which path is right? i still wanna be a doctor, with all of my heart.. i guess i'll leave this to God, wherever he leads me...

seriousness and nerdiness aside... party ung title ko and here i am moping about grades?! i'll be seeing my kada again..after soooo long... hahaha!! i can't wait.. my birthday's coming up soon.. can't wait to be legal,hahaha!!..cheers to a month long sembreak!! with no failing grades!!! :D

iskul istufp

biostat..draining..pero the send-off party for sir cris was fun!! galing pala ni sir kumanta!! haha! si karlo malakas humirit.. hhmmm..what else ba?? mahal pala ang japanese themed party!! oh my! next time filipino themed party na toh.. haha..fun din ang truth or truth..haha.. mejo scary nga lang ang ibang quessies...coolness.. ok ok.. bday celeb na ni cyndee tomorrow.. :D fun fun..jazzy.. shocks..biostat test ko pa pala 2mrw..back to studying for me.. haha! next time na ang matinong post..

icho

and now you tell me that she really isn't your kid...

i don't hate you..but i don't love you anymore.. i just can't find it in my heart to think of you or care for you the way i did a long time ago.. it's just hard to read the lines 'i miss you' and i've been thinking of you'.. yes..you were right by thinking that it was stupid to tell me those things...i don't know what to do with you anymore..honestly, one minute i feel sorry for you then the next minute i feel like strangling you...

i'm tired icho..tired of trying to comfort you or tell you that everything's gonna be alright.. why can't you get it? why can't you live your life the way you did.. i miss your free spirit..your carefree smile..i don't know who you are..what did you do to the person i fell in love with?

whatever happens..i guess i'm still here...and i'm still me..the real me..the person you were supposed to fall for not the one you altered to your wants and needs.. i'm sorry too and thanks

anything goes

--> school...i should pass my subjects..i am so freaked with the feeling that i'm gonna fail again and that's not supposed to happen...

--> to a friend i lost..adrian..i miss you..i just found out last september 12 in the midst of studying my orals... i regret that i didn't give you enough time.. i'm sorry for postponing or canceling our 'chika' moments.. thanks for everything!! for the super kikay advice..for telling me what to wear when i first emceed in ateneO.. you should have seen me.. i haven't really accepted it yet.. the fact that you're gone..i don't know..i think i need more time for it to sink in... i miss you fwend.. but i'm sure you're in a better place..smiling right now and telling me 'han, maglagay ka manlang ng onting lip gloss'.. hehe.. loveyah!!!

--> i need a party...i'm too down and dead...drained..super...haaay...focus that's all i need!!

--> dear bestfriend of mine..i miss you... paramdam ka naman..hehe.. loveyah sweetie!!!

--> keni!!! happy birthday!!! :D

--> dapat blueRep yung nanalo sa cads dance competition thing kanina... hahaha!! it was really cool..especially the blindfold part.. asteeg...haha.. u guys rock!! asteeg orG ko..:D

--> ganda ng cinderella man... super.. watch it!!

--> i got 45/50 sa theo orals ko... wow!!! can't believe it!!!! asteeg!! saya!! haha.. sorry..can't get over it.. oh my!!! chem paren problem ko.... need prayers!!!!!!

CAN'T WAIT FOR SEMBREAK!!!!!

here i am

here i am..
at the crossroads of life now and life ahead
seemingly standing atop a cliff
ready to jump off into the endless pit of who knows

i am but a butterfly
though i wish to be, i know it can never be
hoping i could fly away and reach the highest trees and smile at the sky
feeling free, living free, so beautifully apart from reality

here i am..
stepping back into my cradle
wanting to be held, waiting for a warm embrace, searching for love
reaching out to the sun, asking it's rays to dry my tears

then i feel the wind blowing beneath my wings
urging me to fly high while my feet are firmly put on the ground
and i run as fast as i could trying to take flight
i stop at the edge of the cliff, am i ready?

here i am..
at the crossroads of life now and life ahead
do i choose to settle on what can still be improved yet remains to be broken
or do i jump, making use of my wings, flying towards something close enough to perfection

here i am..
at the crossroads of life now and life ahead
what path do i take?

i just have to write it down

kung minsan manhid ako, ipagpaumanhin.. sometimes i am just so full of myself that i forget the people around me..sometimes my mind is out there (i don't really know where) even if i appear to be just right here standing in front of you..seemingly staring into your eyes with a blank "i'm not sure what's going on" expression.. that's how i am, that's how i've always been.. i forget stories and things i want to forget when others misinterpret that as mean and cold-hearted.. i talk about stuff not wishing to remember past hurts or things said but just because i want to talk.. i talk to a past love about a new love in my life..that's me..unknowingly i hurt people.. without meaning to and without even knowing i did..kung minsan manhid ako, ipagpaumanhin..

waaaaah!!!! biostat!!! and what it does to my tired exhausted mind!!! hahahaha...

trying to live out the dream

"when i grow up, i want to be a doctor." (bow) --hannah, 6years old kindergarten graduation

i guess all my life i dreamed of being a doctor, with the lab gown and stetoscope around my neck during rounds in hospitals... but i didn't dream that continually.. at some points in my life i wanted to be a newscaster, or a journalist, or a writer and right before college i was set to study law. the night before passing my UP entrance test application form, something just changed my mind. I decided to pursue my original dream.. 'when i grow up, i want to be a doctor'..

and here i am now, in Ateneo..burying my face in books..well..to be honest, that's not true.. i try to focus, try to set my grades straight..but i just can't.. i end up doing nothing.. i guess failing a subject had a super negative effect on me.. instead of rising up and continuing the fight, i chose to wallow in my depression..and feel insecure and accept all put downs i throw my way.. i was actually thinking of stopping school and to live life on stage..or shift to a course that wouldn't be challenging at all..but, that would be going against the dream..

and that doesn't work at all!!! finally, something made me get back on track.. my dad and i were having coffee(Gloria Jean's Cubao) after my comparative anatomy orals and this guy about my age tried to sell dried mangoes to support himself for school. and since my dad knew someone who offered scholarship, he gave contact nos. to that student and with doubt the guy asked "kahet po ba hindi matalino?" and my dad answered, "ang importante, matiyaga ka".. and though he wasn't talking to me, that hit the spot.. i was studying in ateneo, with people sponsoring my tuition, i was having coffee on a weekday for no reason, i actually was much better off.. and i was taking it all for granted..

that should stop.. i should realize that "even the best fall down some times"(collide--howie day).. all i have to do is get up.. 'cause nobody could help me up if i choose to just stay where i am..so wish me luck, 'cause here i go!! hello world, hannah's back!!! :D

no one bUt me

who do i wanna be? i just want to be me... :)

No One
Aly & A.J.

I am moving through the crowd
Trying to find myself
Feel like a guitar that's never played
Will someone strum away?

(Chorus)
And I ask myself
Who do I wanna be?
Do I wanna throw away the key?
and invent a whole new me
and I tell myself
No One, No One
Don't wanna be
No One
But me..

You are moving through the crowd
Trying to find yourself
Feel like a guitar left on a shelf
Will someone take you down?

(Chorus)
And you ask yourself
Who do I wanna be?
Do I wanna throw away the key?
and invent a whole new me
Gotta tell yourself
No One, No One
Don't wanna be
No One
But me..

Your life lays out on the shadows of the wall
You turn the light on to release it all
You wonder what's it's like to not feel worthless
So open all the blinds and turn the curtains

No One, No One
Don't wanna be
No One
But me..

When you're moving through the crowd...

on my new template

bohemian --> a person who has informal and unconventional social habits, especially an artist or writer

haha..wala lang..just having fun.. got this from www.blogskins.com :) like what i said in my tagboard just trying boho stuff for my boho debut.. sorta getting a feeL.. haha.. anyway..sana matuloy!! i'm under a financial crisis!! haha..

oh well back to reality..still have to do an outline for my theo report and gotta study for my chem7 long test!! haay.. feels like i had no weekend.. :(

anYway..hope this cominG weekend would be much better!! :D

goodbye weekend!

first cat muscles... ngayon naman cat digestive and respiratory system.. glad that's done!!

biostat long test on saturday!!! dagdag stress!!!

chemistry (take2) long test na naman!! monday..

hay..weekend?! what weekend?!

three

napulot ko sa blog ni lara.. hehe... (buti na lang..somethin' to do..tanggal stress!)

Three names you go by:
1. han
2. hannah
3. sweetie(tawag saken ng dad ko)

Three screen names you have had:
1. hannahrhymes
2. freeverse
3. fruitandnut

Three physical things you like about yourself:
1. eyes
2. hair ko ngayon

3. teeth ko nung wala pa akong braces..and teeth ko pag tinanggal na toh :p

Three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. i'm fat
2. i'm fat
3. i'm fat

Three parts of your heritage:
1. a little chinese (super little)
2. marameng filipino blood
3. a little spanish (super little)

Three things that scare you:
1. loss of loved ones
2. unknown
3. failure

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. prayer
2. laugh trip with friends
3. bare necessities (cellphone etc.)

Three of your favorite musical artists:
1. banda namin sa church!! (loyal!! pero serioso magaling..)
2. mymp
3. lifehouse

Three of your favorite songs: (as of now)
1. deep (oi karlo parang kanina lang sa lab sinabi ko toh ah!!)
2. blind --lifehouse
3. i dont wanna be --gavin de graw


Three things you want in a relationship: (kahet sa friends toh diba??)
1. GOD
2. total and unconditional acceptance
3. support with commitment

Three lies and truths in no particular order: (ewan labo)
1. i'm crazy!
2. love at first sight!
3. i'm bored!
4. God rocks!!!!
5. being a failure

6. insecurities

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. height
2. eyes
3. smile

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. shopping
2. reading
3. sound trip

Three things you want to do really badly now:
1. pass all subjects!
2. go out!! hang out!! party!!
3. eat

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. paracale (beach house ng tito ko, who wants to come?? haha!)
2. paris (to fall in love...with the place ayt??)
3. africa (to check out the animals..and to stop complaining sa 'hardships' ko..and to help out sa missions dun)

Three kid's names you like: (tama ba sagot ko?)
1. jessica
2. dianne
3. john

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. to have fulfilled my purpose whatever it may be
2. sky diving

3. snorkeling

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. i love to shop!!
2. i swoon over cute hot guy celebs
3. i cry when i want to

Three celeb crushes:
1. legolas!!!!! (si legolas ha..not orlando bloom)
2. Jesse Metcalfe..ung guy sa desperate housewives (ung ka-affair ni Eva Longoria..)
3. si lance ng n'sync dati.. (shucks..embarassing!!)

Three mutant powers:
1. to teleport!!
2. to fly..iba pa rin ung feeling.. up up and away!!! :)
3. fire..ability to create fire..gets?

Three types of food you often crave for:
1. cadbury fruit and nut

2. pringles sour cream and onion
3. refrigerator cake!! (ung gawa ko!! hahaha!)

about today and yesterday and the day before and.....basta blogging

ooohhhh..i had so much fun today.. we had a worship night just a while ago in church!! asssteeeeeeg!!! it feels great to praise and thank God for everything after feeling dead for the past weeks.. i even got to host a bit.. it was ayt.. but the worship was great!! very refreshing!! fun fun fun!!

ok..saturday! admu won again over ue!!! hahahahahahahahahaha! that's basically my highlight of that day...nothin much... jellone, sorry wasn't able to go to your birthday celeb..will make up somehow.. happy birthday dude!!

friday...concert... :)

oh..guess that's it..will expound soon?? or maybe not... but i hafta go!!

bored again

lara dear (and sa iba pang tinanungan ko if they knew this song)..eto ung kantang sinasabe ko dati.. :)

YOU MAKE ME SING
Karylle

When I wake
All I want to see is
Your smiling face next to mine
And do you know
That you’ve got me going
Crazy all the time

Do you feel what I’m saying to you
Do you feel me
Coz I feel you and all the things that you do
You’ve got me singing all the time

You make me sing
You make me sing
All the time

Hold me close
Don’t you ever let go
I just want you by my side
Even though we’re not together all the time
I’ve always got you on my mind

Do you feel what I’m saying to you
Do you feel me
Coz I feel you and all the things that you do
You’ve got me singing all the time

You make me sing
You make me sing
All the time
You make me sing
You make me sing
All the time

I just want this feeling never to end inside my heart
You’re kissable, adorable, beautiful
Every part of you makes me feel so complete
Never thought that you could make me feel this way
You make me sing

Parapapapa
Parapapa
Papapapapa
Parapapapapapapa

You make me sing over here,
Over there, everywhere
You make me sing
In the park, to the stars, from my heart
You make me sing
When I work, at the mall when you call
You make me sing
When I wake, on my break, at the studio
At the store, on the train, on the plane
In my room constantly on my couch before I sleep
People think I’m crazy singing singing all the time

bored

ooohhh...i loooove this song.. :)

Blind
Lifehouse

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless
As you turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep
That even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you is blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Than you'll ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything
Would be like it was before
But nights like this
It seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you is blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Than you'll ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go

After all this why
Would you ever wanna leave
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you is blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Than you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
That I loved you more
Than you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go

happy 1st blogversary to me.. :P

i've been blogging for a year now!! yehey!! just sharing.. :) i'll keep ya all posted on everything and nothing in my life.. :p hehe!

so now..i'm supah busy.. i have 2 longtests and a theo quiz on wednesday.. waaah!! my mind drifts away during biostat class..ooohh!! i'm so messed up! God help me please! and thanks for all the help na rin :)

it was nice hanging out with old friends last friday..all the hours were worth it!! love yah ninjas!! i don't totally believe what some old people say about losing your highschool friends once you get to college.. it's true that we may lose contact and have less time for each other but the bond will always be there.. :) sobrang daming kwento and mahaba pa ang oras.. sulit!!

okay okay..back to reality..hafta cram and study and all that jazz.. oohh, i miss blueRep.. hope i can help out pa rin in the coming production.. hehe!

guess that's it!!! hugs and kisses!! i'm feeling really happy..some people know why.. and um lara..di siya nagtext!!! my signs are messed up dude!! haha! hope that doesn't mean anything.. :p

pa-plug lang :D

Calling all artists and creative people!!! It's time to use your artistry and creativity to communicate the message and reflect the character of the Creator. Which is why we're inviting you to the upcoming CALL auditions for the play OYAYI!

Oyayi (lullaby in English) is a play about a family struggling with financial, relational and spiritual difficulties. This became a kind of crossroads for them that led some family members to turn to Christ in faith which strengthened them through the crisis. A very relevant Filipino story that makes the audience laugh, cry, and hope.

For the audition, please prepare 1 English and 1 Tagalog song.

CALL (Creative Artists for the Lord of Lights) is a non-stock, non-profit Christian organization of artists whose vision is to "evolve into a passionate, uniquely Christian Filipino 'mobile' artistic company that will work and cooperate with the church in demonstrating God's kingdom in every possible venue and people group."

The audition will be on Saturday, Aug. 20,2005.. 4:00pm at VineYard Manila's meeting place, 3/F Pampanga's Best Bldg, Kamuning Rd., near EDSA, QC

no title

once again my mind is as messed up as my room

once again i find myself staring expressionlessly at the ceiling

feeling that i am once again just a speck of dust

as worthless as paper weight made of bubbles or foam

i watch helplessly as the seconds, minutes & hours move

i try to ignore the songs that don’t sound so appealing any more

here i am once again as the clock strikes 12mn

rethinking the days, weeks & months that seem to have passed with haste

wondering how quickly one can go dumb

slightly amazed at how willingly one chooses to be a fool

staring at open school books that seem well studied and used

yet searching for the answers in a mind that seems bare

one more time, pacing through my room

staring at the mirror though not recognizing the face

exhausted yet unaccomplished, weary with no reason to be

unheard of by many, this is me

a smile that quickly fades, a heart that chooses not to beat

a mind whose wheels seemed to stop going round

a body unwanted and unaccepted even by the owner

words that no longer rhyme

here i am once again

staring in the face all my insecurities

random thoughts when hit once again with insomnia

• on my post 'look at yourself now', some people think the guy made up the whole story... so if you did..that's one super LOW joke..and makes you look more like a loser, it's nice to know that i am not identified with you anymore..and no, i aint bitter.. but nanghihinayang ako..instead of being with you, i should have done a lot of better things in life..
  

• i'm rereading the chronicles of narnia and i'm falling in love with it all over again!! i can't wait for the movie!!!

• 'nothing else matters but you.. Lord Jesus but you' ... that line hit me this morning in church.. and i realized(for real) that i have let my priorities run wild again..oh God, im ssooooo sorry..i pray and hope things will get back to normal again... i am ssuuuupperr thankful to have a great GOD..super forgiving and super understanding.. the best!!! kahet minsan gusto ko na tumalon ng bldg or sumuko.. there's something or someone always pushing me up and lending a hand when i fall.. thanks God..sobra!! THANKS!! i could go on and on.. but my super duper prayer is that my life would be like a love song to your heart(like what we sang again in church a while ago)..

• i can't wait to see my friends 2 weeks from now.. and my super lovable cousins sa aug19 ata.. basta miss you all!!! i'm currently chatting with jei now.. miss the old days (w/ d ninjas) tambay tambay kang with no worry in the world..hehehe...

• late na..sakit na likod ko..will post again soon..matino nman.. haha!!
  

on our country

(sobrang short nito, i don't wanna be like one of those who have so much to say pero wala naman talagang gusto makinig..)

kakabad3p dito sa Philippines..

everyone has something to say about the government.. pero in reality, all they want is a position.. i agree with what my dad said na "almost half of the population want to be president".. haha!! well, keep on praying na lang.. si God na bahala.. i agree with GMA na we need unity now.. anti-divisiveness ako.. dapat we think of our country and not just the personal quest of power of each politician and other people..

un lang po.. :)

When the country is in chaos, everybody has a plan to fix it-- But it takes a leader of real understanding to straighten things out.
Proverbs 28:2 (the message version)

look at yourself now

*WARNING: i think this isn't supposed to be read by the weak-hearted..sorry for the harsh words.. this is the only time i'll use them.. for i think that the person i'm writing about is the only one deserving of such..if you(the person this post is dedicated to) are reading (which i'm sure you're not.. 'cause u dont pay much attention to stuff like this), sorry na lang po..there are some stuff that my heart can endure..this isn't one of them...

and i thought i was bad.. the nerve you had making me believe that i was always at fault.. and how stupid i was to believe that you were almost always right even though at the back of my mind i always believed na you are totally stupid.. "hiding behind the bush" pare..the saying is beating around the bush.. tanga ka rin eh noh!!! "i don't wanna bring back the past pero ano ginawa mo after we broke up?"..ang kapal mo sira ulo ka!!! sige nga..tell me what i did.. sabihin mo lumabas labas(gumimik) ako..eh manhid ka ba? aalis na ung bestfirend ko nun.. anong gagawin ko?? tititig sa pader at magtetext sa kanya na sorry i can't go kase dramatic c *toot (di na lang ako magsasabi ng pangalan).. sobra ka!! bobo! ngayon sinasabi mong may 2 years old ka na anak!! WOW!!!! tapos to top it all off sabi mo di na tayo when it happened..marunong ka ba magbilang? o baka sa katangahan mo di mo talaga alam ilan taon anak mo?? kawawang bata!!!! nung sinabi ko bad math, i meant bad math dahil dun sa rumors 2 years old ung kid..un pla totoo..shocks..tpos ang sagot mo sa bad math, "mejo, di kase ako nagaral sa math test" bobo!!! tanga!!! kung pagbibilang ang problema mo..tutulungan na lang kita, 2 years ago..tayo pa nun..apr2004 po tayo naghiwalay(how i wish it was far more earlier than that)..sabihin mo nga saken..kung agad nabuo ung bata nun..2 yrs old na ba sha ngaun.. let me lay it out for you..a baby has to be formed 9 months.. so let's say u did it apr agad.. so..january 2005 dapat lalabas ung bata.. july2005 pa lang..paano naging 2 un?? so tama ang hinala ko at ng iba na nakaalam bago ako na binuo un tayo pa!! ang kapal mo rin eh noh!!! any you're telling me na wag ko ipagkalat.. paano kaya nakarating sa aken?? pinagkalat mo!! tanga!! actualy, pinagmamayabang mo!!! sa harap pa ng ilang kaibigan ko.. hello!! paano ko kaya nalaman?? kase ang daldal mo.. feel mo cool ka na may anak ka?? kawawa magulang mo!!kakahiya ka tsong!!! oi,ikaw loser ngayon!!! pacompare compare ka pa.. "u know what everything was better when i was with you"..hello, hindi nakakalambot ng puso un!!! well looking back now, it was worse... kahit ang dami ko pa talagang tanong at sabi mo u'll tell me everything later(2 days ago).. tama na siguro na wala na lang akong marinig na!! baka kase magkasala pa ako.. grr!! baliw ka!! kakaasar!!! ang kapal sobra!!!!! alam mo un..dami kong gustong masamang sabihin pero dahil puno na utak ko wag na lang...i'm content with the fact na this time, i'll have the last laugh...hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

now calm and collected.. i seriously feel sorry for you.. at times i partly blame myself, pero i won't allow myself to be stupid anymore..sana na lang talaga..u make right decisions this time around.. sincerely, God bless...

(sa aking lovable friends na natatawa ngaun..tama nga kayo..tanga ako nun..haha..tawa lang..next time makikinig na ako...promise..wag na kaung manumbat ha..)

eLo

i read somewhere that love is what happens when you're busy making other plans...

well, i've been busy...

so...now what..

haha! just playing... but it's normal to wonder.. :)

i'm busy!!! will be posting something ok soon...

after 10 years

after 10 years..what i almost always say when i get impatient or if something takes a really long time before it happens.. well, i could say that for my blogging!! haha!

okidoki...first things first..classes have started..and i'm already busy.. haha! i hate the fact that i have to repeat chem!! grrrr... pero ok na un..haaay..no choice eh.. :p its been a long time since my last post!!! grabe!! guess i had nothing to say, nothing much to talk about... a few weeks of school has passed and the sched sucks a bit... but at least i got soccer for my PE!!! yay! although i suck at the game, i'll just chalk it up to experience.. i'm happy to be in school 'cause i'm preoccupied with a lot of stuff.. and i don't have time to waste.. :) okie..now my agenda for this schoolyear.... 1) to try REALLY hard to get on the dean's list (if it's possible..hehe!) 2) to be more committed to my orgs and to join one more new org this year..preferrably kythe.. 3) to have all the fun in the world!!! (fun that my sched will allow) guess that's it dudes.. hafta go... i'm gonna research for compa ana pa.. booyah!!

pick-me-uppers

1. my calculus finals would be on tuesday...and that would be the last of my math subjects.. :) well, there would be more math-related subjects that i would need to take for my course.. but, i'm not spoiling the fun which is why i'm not thinking about that yet.. :p
2. summer classes are coming to an end.. and i'd have a really short break before classes start..
3. i already bought some stuff that i could use for this coming semester so that i have something to be excited about.. :)
4. i'm actually excited about this 1st semester.. i can't explain.. haha! probably cause i have to embrace this sem with a poisitive attitude or else.. haha!
5. one more thing i'm happy about is "i aint gonna be grounded no more".. well that's definitely the best pick-me-upper this week.. hehehe..

i guess i'm gonna end here..just wanted to feel happy.. hehe..

this could be long...

my grandfather died last monday, May9.. and i was there in the hospital when he took his last breath and beat his last heartbeat.. i was glad that i was there, i spent his last moments with him and i was able to comfort the people around me.. it felt weird and excruciating just to wait for the respirator to go 'toooooot' and see a flat line on the screen... my lolo was clinically dead around lunch time..and his heartbeat stopped around 4pm.. we immediately ran home to get what he would wear last and get pictures to display during the wake... after that we rushed to loyola memorial chapels and arranged the wake and i even got to choose the casket... we had dinner around 9pm that night and that would be the start of my really hectic week...

by tuesday, i went to school and even took a long test for calculus.. i don't even remember how i was able to study for that..thank God i actually passed.. after my last class..i rushed to the dentist then we went to loyola... people kept on coming and giving their sympathy.. but there came a time when all of us were too drained to entertain guests.. there were really too many..the presidential suite of loyola was overflowing with relatives and friends until around 11.30.. when we left, people were still there!! i took a day off from school on wednesday, and spent my day in the loyola chapel... i went home late again but i still had to go to school... thursday..regular class from 9 to 10.30am then i would rush to the airport right after class to fetch my cousins from New York.. by 4pm i had to leave loyola to be back in school for a play we had to watch for Fil class... and by the time the play ended, my driver was waiting to bring me immediately to loyola again..i was just in time for the memorial service and was able to capture the whole thing in video.. friday was the same thing... class and then memorial service at night... i even got to be the emcee for the friday memorial service which means i read the response prayers and all.. saturday would be the interment at heritage park.. we had our convoy and everyhting went smoothly... my grandfather was truly a good person.. though i may not have been really close with him, i'd be able to cherish the really short conversations i had with him.. and i'd miss seeing him walk around in filinvest while i watch TV by the dining room..i believe he was a great person 'cause if he wasn't , why would so many people go to his wake and interment...everybody there were truly blessings and i hope he was a blessing to them too... i am happy because my lolo is now home..in heaven.. a place where he feels no more pain and where he can be with his Saviour.. and i am assured that i will see him too and also with my other lolo who died a long time ago... wouldn't that be a wonderful reunion?

on the lighter side, the time i spent with my cousins and even my Tito from New Jersye from thursday 'til yesterday would be really cherished... :) the last time i saw them was around 6 to 7 years ago...and to see them again was definitely fun.. :) we were able to eat out everyday..we even got to shop together.. we even got to sing for 4 hours in red box in gb3... 6 years worth of stories kept us busy even when we were just sitting around the house together...i dropped them(my cousins) off yesterday.. no teary goodbyes there 'cause they'd be back in August.. :) it was nice to know that we actually had a lot of things in common even if we did talk only once in a blue moon.. :)

well..back to school and back to reality or should i say back to routine?... i am now in the middle of finishing a report for tomorrow and checking my e-mails which have piled up since i haven't been checking for a week.. so now i have to go.. 'til next time... :)

'patikim'

--> i'm referring to the long weekend i just had.. if vacation is 2months long for a lot of my friends out there..well lucky me, i have summer classes..i'm currently in a state of depression or should i say a 'discreet breakdown' because of my studies.. waaah..i'm expecting myself to fail and feel so dumb..grrrr...i lost all focus and concentration.. and my drive is dying down... i'm LOST!!! i don't really know what's pushing me now.. whatever it is, it's the only thing remaining that could keep me hanging on..i just had an argument with my mom.. about something i thought she said..well, it's a long story.. but it was about my studies..and i was soooo sensitive about it.. and i'm not like that..well, i wasn't.. and now i am... and i don't like the feeling...it's really hard to put up this smiling bubbly facade( i don't know why i keep on doing it but i really want to it to be real.. ) just hoping i could stand on my own 2 feet again.. :)

hannah is still happy..i guess
blab blab blab...
i seriously need your prayers.. tHanx!
one more thing, i should get high grades para di na ko grounded.. :p