much ado about nothing

i'm in the middle of too many things right now and i have no idea where my head's at! hahaha.. although i'm enjoying watching heroes, it's really cool! i can't get enough of it..and i'm supposed to be up studying for philo orals. and i am but i haven't really answered any thesis statements but i've read all the readings and checked up on all my notes.. so i guess all i need are notecards. :D i hope. lol. well anyway, i guess i'll be pulling an all-nighter AGAIN. but this time no caffeine. i'm taking a break from coffee.. hehe.. i think i had too much these past few days. anyway, how have i been? the usual. busy busy busy busy! i can't wait for all the busyness to end.. and parteeeh! hahaha. grrr..anyway to get back to philo orals OR heroes watching.. :)

*sometimes questions are more powerful than answers*

should i be ranting?

well since sunday night the only good sleep i've had lasted 15 minutes.. and i survived crazy 36 hours pumped with coffee and lots of adrenaline! all thanks to my orgchem test.. i seriously suck at that subject.. and well so far my two majors have gone haywire?! well i still have lots of time to catch up.. just hoping my professors aren't mean enough to fail me.. just one last year in school i can do it with God! amen! hehe.. but i'm serious.. i just hope and pray things work out as always in the end.

sometimes u can't make it on your own

i had a weird epiphany moment during philo class this morning where i was supposed to be prayer leader. and i didn't want to.. i couldn't even think of a prayer, the very thought of praying scared me and i had no idea why. and it felt sad. i used to love talking to God, i seriously loved praying. it's during those moments that i can say everything to a someone who won't hate me and that feeling's great! and i guess through that everyday prayer leader thing that happens so ordinarily, i realized that i forgot i could talk to God. and no matter how simple that prayer was in class, it felt like meeting up with an old friend whom you've missed sooo much. and in line with that i knew that i needed help, i needed Him again.. i slowly kept relying on myself believing i could do all things as long as i put my everything into it. well no, i should have relied on God 'cause sometimes you just can't make it on your own. and well, He doesn't want you to experience that much stress :) God you're great i missed yah! :D

reunion

i had the weirdest "future flashback" or whatever a look into the future's called when i went to my mom's highschool reunion :p hehehe! first of all, why was i there?? well i just wanted to hang with a friend (the son of my mom's classmate.. cool right?) BUT he had to leave for basketball so i made a new friend hehe.. another son of another classmate of my mom :D yes yes, i talk to new guys (just as long as they have girlfriends.. nyahahaha) so ANYWAY, why the "flashback"... well i kinda saw US (our hs barkada) in them.. haha.. like i could point out who i was gonna be or who jel was or who acoy was.. haha.. it was kinda cool.. and seeing them still hanging like that and having more and more stories to tell gave me hope that even though all of us go our separate ways, we'll still end up as friends no matter what.. haha.. love you guyz! booze party soon!! XoxO

oh well i miss it

sometimes i still wonder if i'm in the right course.. although i doubt it for the wrong reasons..
i guess it takes some time before you regain focus and zest in life after too many shitty moments and events.. but i miss it, the days i loved bio, even chem. i also miss hanging out with friends on breaks drinking and whatever other stuff we felt like doing. i miss gb3, i miss glorietta, heck i miss makati hahaha.. i miss CALL, i miss acting and singing and dancing.. i miss things i never did like hanging out for hours in the bluerep room or performing during college. i miss skateboarding, bungee jumping, surfing, white water rafting, sky diving and snowboarding. i miss the things or people i wasn't able to have. i miss jeijei and old friends, batchmates or not. i miss love, the romantic kind. i miss lola. i miss God. i guess i MISS life. life the way i used to see it. life the way i wanted it to be. just wishing that someday (hopefully starting tomorrow) i wouldn't have to miss it again.

one liners...

there are just too many WHAT IFS in life...