Today's Daily Reminder

After more than a year from residency, and one year in corporate research and almost 1 year into regular clinics, I still have numerous complaints, mistakes and anxiety attacks. But it's quite wonderful to be here when this was just a dream a few years prior - a stable job, an awesome clinic schedule and finally planning to get married. Thank you life for reminding me of your daily beauty! 

PS Hello again blogging.

Hey August

I've been chasing drinks a lot. It's now time to chase dreams. 💙

Saying Goodbye to Residency, finally.

Well Hello There You

It has been two years.

Residency is happening. Life has been on hold. And even though it's as if a lot of things have changed, I feel the same.

I'm supposed to be joyful, grateful even, it seems like my life's on track and yet it feels stagnant and I feel stuck.

It has been a year and a half of Residency, I've sadly lost patients, I've sent home patients, fulfilled and well, with satisfied parents. I remind myself I study not for me but for them and yet everyday feels like a struggle against not quitting.

Today is the first day of a long awaited break from the daily mess of the hospital life. Today I will rest and sleep. And I will spend the remaining days of the week resting in the Lord.

And by the end of this week I hope to remind myself that I love what I'm doing, and I will go back and everyday wake up excited on what the day would bring.

And in a year or so when I decided to write again, I myself will be fulfilled, satisfied and content.

Day 20 of Pediatrics Pre-Residency and I am reminded by this quote from my favorite author. 

Every tiring and stressful day becomes worth it. :)

#asmph100% ;)

Today I Found Out I Passed the Med Boards!!!

Ta-Daaa!

We reach a point in our lives when it's no longer feasible to keep chasing pavements, but to keep moving forward and standing up after every fall, tumble and turn and figure out that we have to be content with this some kind of fairy tale we call our lives. Because we can't always want what we can't have and growing up means loving and appreciating what's in front of you. And then we end up happy after all. Happier than we expected. 

Funny Little Stories I Write to the Moon

Another year's about to end, and 2012 is rumored to be the end of days (hahahaha, let's party like it's 2012), add that to the fact that Facebook has forced me to reminisce thanks to the timeline, all these things lead me to realize that things have ended up smooth sailing after all.

I started this blog a freshman in college (Ateneo), when I was a not so naive yet a little stupid and jaded 16 year old who decided to break up with her boyfriend the summer before college due to priorities (wow, matuuure haha). Come 2nd and 3rd year college, I find myself transformed into a closet hopeless romantic with a bunch of poems and a broken heart (different boy this time haha, tsk tsk). And I graduate from college, sort of confident, definitely more mature, less insecure at least and decided to take a year off before medical school. Fast forward to today, I'm on my third year and in a school I love (still Ateneo) with no major problems (except probably weight gain) and in a stable relationship (with someone I wrote about as a freshman in college, sluuuut, haha no not really haha.) and happy. My 2004 self wouldn't have believed any of this.

And so if the world does end in 2012 (which I really don't believe by the way, I don't think God appreciates us "timing" Him.) I'll be okay. Seems like I've been doing an ok job of "living my life to the full" during my good days (not everyday). And if this emo-ish poem I posted in multiply waaaay back isn't evidence enough of how much I've changed, I'm just grateful I no longer have "funny little stories I write to the moon."

Reminder: Cast all your cares upon Him

Being the eldest who's stuck in medical school while your family is having financial problems tops my list of things I feel guilty about. And the past few weeks have been extra hard since Christmas parties are just around the corner, there are a few months left before all the outings and parties people have planned before clerkship (aka the year we start donating our lives to the hospital) and the discovery that my parents have debt (something we never had since the year I was born). As much as I would like to help my parents, I can't, I chose this life and my parents are rooting for me. A big part of me wishes I get to contribute financially, and another part of me wishes we had money so I get to celebrate before I lose my social life completely. It's selfless vs selfish, and it's a weird tug of war feeling, and i'm stuck in it. Since then everyday has been a struggle, I lose focus in class (but I can attribute that to the Gynecology module which is thankfully over), I stay up at night looking for part time internet jobs, or compute how much allowance I need to save. It has been hard because money was not much of an issue before, and now that i'm older and probably more aware, I feel its burden. Thankfully, just today, I found out I got a part time job. And it involves writing, which contrary to what I wanted to believe, is something I'm still very much in love with. And it involves writing about health, which of course is something I am passionate about, hello I am studying to become a doctor after all. All this a day after I told Karlo, maybe I should cast all my cares upon God, just like the song my parents taught me as a kid, which goes like this--
I cast all my cares upon you
I lay all of my burdens down at your feet,
Anytime I don't know, what to do
I will cast all my cares upon you


And just like that, I am reminded that I have a great God. Maybe that's something I should never forget again. And just as I embark on this extra adventure, I will cast all my cares upon Him.

:)

Care Package

I am proud of making my first ever care package :) A whole lot of credit is due of course to Mimi, Aisa and Anix, because without them I wouldn't have pulled this off.

My dad told me that relationships are a marathon, and I told him I never imagined myself looking forward to the loooong road ahead with someone. But with Karlo, it has been easy. Yes, there are a whole lot of ups and downs and moments of wanting to give-up (on my part mostly haha). Yet looking back, it hasn't been a treacherous road nor has it been boring.

So who would've thought that after 5 years of friendship we'd end up together, and after 2 years of "love" it still has been great and hopefully it'll continue to be. Guess what i'm saying is i'm happy and i'm thankful, and although i know this cheesy side of me is because i am "hormotional" now, i'm actually looking forward to the long haul and to all the other adventures we'd embark on together.

Happy Anniversary :)