suddenly stressed

it just hit me after typing my first homework.. crap i have 23 units this sem!!!! i realized that i haven't bought a book for Org Chem and i have to pass my first homework tomorrow... craptastic! i wonder who has a book... i can probably skip passing that first... hmmm.. and i've already got a long test for tue damn.. philo... and readings tons of it.. then long tests the week after.. it's gonna be one long sem! and i thought i was ready for it.. well maybe i am.. i just get like this sometimes.. haha.. earth..reality.. yeah imma survive! i have to!

headache

writer's block.... ca..n't..s..eem... to... write... anything... g.r.r.r.... this pains me

goodbye friend

our friend Baron died, a day after we visited him in the hosp. just came from his memorial service half glad that my friends and i were gonna reunite again (ace,kams, francis, caleb, mark and erwin were there) but sad too 'cause we were all gonna miss baron... thanks for the memories dude.. i remember in the hosp u kept telling your mom "uwi na tayo." i'm glad you're finally home.

one-of-a-kind birthday

for once i told myself i won't throw a party...and that's exactly what i did. and i enjoyed it in a weird epiphany kind of way haha. i didn't celebrate it for once, not even a special dinner or lunch, inuman.. nada. zip. i was just really planning to let it pass since one, i didn't feel like celebrating the day i turned twenty (hahaha) and two, the past 19 years of celebrating were enough for me. not just the birthday parties but the ups and downs, friends i have, lost, and gained, family, and God's numerous miracles throughout my life. it has been great and i just wanted to sit back, let the ordinary day go by and say wow, this is my life. i had it planned in my head, when i get home from the plevsem i'll treat myself to a spa and get a massage, manicure and pedicure and get home and watch DVDs.. it was supposed to be a ME day. but that's not how things ended up.

on the eve of my birthday i was asleep in tagaytay only to have cyndee and the whole BOx e-board wake me up and sing happy birthday and hand me a banoffee pie!!! and for that thank you!!!! i don't remember ever being surprised on my birthday especially at 12 mn. haha. since i was up i forced my room mates (arch, cyndz, steven, anix and carls) plus greg and kevs to stay up with me and eat pancit canton, crab and corn soup, corned beef, chips and drink lotsa booze in the attic. and we all ended up sleeping sober at 5 in the morning :p
THANKS EB i love yah guys!!! :)

anyway i received a text from juancho on my way home saying that baron was in cardinal santos with liver cancer. there's where all of my plans changed. i learned that an old friend of mine had a few weeks to live or less and i didn't even believe it.. but i decided after a while to go with my grade school friends (kams, juancho, chico and francis) and off to cardinal santos we went. it was weird since we never saw each other for ages and then we see each other for this... seeing baron with cancer was different, a really sad and low experience but we had to keep the smiles 'cause he didn't know of his few weeks left.. we spent a few hours there remembering the old days and trying to get baron to smile once in a while or make a sound reminiscent of a laugh since he was in pain. (please keep him in your prayers 'cause miracles happen)... we had a lot of stories to tell and catching up as well with baron's mom answering for him..so when we left and then i finally got home i told my mom my day was worth it. being reminded that life is fleeting and that just one day of celebration isn't as big as turning 20 day by day with so much time spent with people you love. life was worth it.

my day didn't turn out like i expected but i still feel as satisfied as having a party, minus the hang over. thanks to everyone who greeted me but next year i think it's back to throwing a parteeeh.. haha. guess that's still me. =)