to love and to be loved in return :)

... is the best gift ever. :) can't wait for the next 4th. :)

getting fatter this christmas

i can't wait to leave for Baguio on the 27th :) finally, real vacation time :) i still owe my public health groupmates a feasible topic for our paper, will deal with that tomorrow.

i've been eating as if i were to hibernate this christmas and that's so not good.

to make matters worse i can't walk around much thanks to that barbeque stick that decided to puncture my toe.. resulting in me having a medicated christmas eve :P anti tetanus, antibiotics, and pain killers. looove it, NOT. :|

anyway, i've enjoyed drinking mudshakes a little too much and i will sleep now.

boyfriend, i love you lots..remind me to jog when school starts :) haha.

i still love the holidays :) reminds me of God's crazy love for us :)

good night world and Merry Christmas :)

there are still days when i question my being here

my year off stemmed from big crazy ass dreams of leaving. and i still wonder if i took things seriously, would i be in this place right now? maybe not. as i tried to clear my thoughts for my management paper and report for tomorrow i stumbled upon a friend's blog.. who had bigger dreams than mine and now he's somewhere in Europe, living the adventure he wanted his life to be. i know i said months back that staying here is the adventure i want. but there are still days that i wish i'm somewhere else. don't get me wrong, new things have happened by staying and they are great.. one "thing" i particularly love the most ;)

it's just that sometimes, i miss not knowing. i miss big crazy ass dreams. taking leaps. living one day at a time. exploring the unfamiliar. i miss the adventures i decided not to take. and even if i say there are no regrets. i still miss what i will never have.

BUT still...i know i'm living my dream. i just have to persevere, that's all.

i missed blogging paragraphs. :D

to end my paranoia i stare at cute dogs... now i will sleep.. screw physio.. i can't take it anymore... i just hope i remember...

paranoia

a disease that sucks the life out of someone happily in love...

the hypothetical cure: assurance, hugs, kisses, and more love.

still a little sick though.. i blame me. haha. the last time i was in a girlfriend position, i was high school... foolish and stupid.. cheating was cool.. being crazy was cool.. but to truly fall in love.. that's a new thing for me.. i don't like getting hurt, i don't like feeling.. i hate romantic movies.. i am jaded... that's me.. so the paranoia is purely my fault.. and the person i decided to fall in love with... i watched him, fall in love with someone else so deeply to the point where i laughed inside because i told myself, that will never happen to me... well it did... ironically, i fell for him... and yes he tells me and shows me how in love he is with me.. and how past is past.. blah blah blah.. but oh so jaded and poor poor me, i still have paranoia.. and nightmares.. and i randomly ask friends if we are ok... or if i'm going crazy.. or worse, if i am right... the best thing i've heard... "if he was like that for the wrong girl, how much more in love will he be for the right girl.. and you are the right girl." to the person who said that, YOU made my night... but i do hope i am the right girl... and that my falling so crazy deeply in love will be worth it. to be me and to be in love with my bestfriend. crazy shit. haha.