cheers!!

*with wine glasses up: a toast to a bigger and better new year!!

materially speaking -> more money, better clothes, cooler parties, good food, better booze.. haha!
physically speaking -> less weight (hey, a lot can relate), good health (hope i'm cured in the mornin'.hehe), longer sleep, more exercise
mentally speaking -> better grades!!!!, and better memory (hhhmmmm)
emotionally speaking -> no more downs on my so-called "love life" (please please!! i get hurt..owee), less sleepless nights thinking of..., more satisfaction in stuff (i think i'm emotionally ayt, not much probs 'ere)
spiritually speaking -> continuous growth in my walk with God

happy partying and karaoke singing!!
no getting drunk ayt??
don't lose any body parts if you're planning to light up some fire crackers or sumthin..

have a great new year!! yep yep!!

P.S. i still kinda wished for somethin better to end my year..but oh well.. if that's it, then ok.. but still 2005 ain't my kind of year..sowee.. at least novemeber to december made it far better than it was supposed to be! hoping 2006 will sweep me off my feet.. :)

happy holidays

amidst all the hardships, loneliness and pain...
people still find it best to celebrate this joyous occasion
no matter how simple or lacking things may be
life is complete 'cause of the reason of this season
thank you Jesus Christ..
without you there would be no gifts under the tree
no beautiful carols to sing
no lechon or cake on the noche buena table
no CHRISTmas
thank you for giving us reasons to wake up each morning and say
God loves me and 'cause of Him today is a new day

MERRY CHRISTMAS y'all!!!
hoping that you'll keep in your hearts the reason for the season!

*sigh

The heart has its reasons that reason does not know.
-Blaise Pascal

the lil dreamer in me

if you present it to me
with a flower in the moonlight
all shiny and new
then i couldn't say no to that

tonight could be our lucky night
____________________________

and now...a song...wala lang..

If I Keep my Heart out of Sight
James Taylor

If I keep on talking now
I'll only start repeating myself
And all I can say is
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you

If I slip and tip my hand
I'm certain to scare you away
Then what would I say
I'd be hurting I'm certain
I'd be uncool to let you know that you're the one
The fool who jumped the gun

'Cause I've been advised by other guys
You've left behind
Your goodbyes are somewhat unrefined
But if I play my role just right
Tonight could be my lucky night
And you could be mine

If I present it to you
With a flower in the moonlight
Shiny and new
Well, you couldn't say no tonight
If I keep my heart out of sight

If I play my role just right
Then Tonight could be my lucky night
And you could be mine

If I present it to you
With a flower in the moonlight
Oh, shiny and new
Well, you couldn't say no tonight
If I keep my heart out of sight

freeverse

she walks down the path she always takes
barren yet beautiful, lonesome yet peaceful
the path she knew like the back of her hand
the path she learned by heart, or so she thought
a rose was lying in the middle of the road
recently left behind and still having it's exquisiteness
it hasn't lost the thing it symbolizes the best

she picks up the rose and holds it tight
allowing the thorns to pierce through her delicate skin
"help me remember, teach me again"
no matter how beautiful the rose was, its thorns were as strong as its beauty

she lets go of the rose

the pain dies down
but the figure of its beauty remains
she lets go of love after getting hurt
the pain dies down
but the beauty haunts her

the rose is gently then roughly blown away by the wind
she runs, she leaps, she flies...
she stops as the wind blows the rose back at her feet
she ends up in another path
blossoming, magnificent, harmonious, unforgettable
she picks up the rose and removes the thorns

and i ask her, is she all set to take that path
one unknown to her, one she has to discover..
she smiles and tells me, "i am, if he takes me with him"
she waits for his hand as she tells him.. "take it, i am ready but i can't walk it alone"

now i'm sitting here...wondering what he'll say

utak at puso

ang utak ko ay isa sa pinakakomplikadong parte ng aking katawan
ngunit malayong mas komplikado ang puso
kaya't ito'y aking pinatahimik ng dahan dahan
at hinayaang ang utak muna ang magpatakbo ng damdaming nakakatukso

isipin niyo nang kakaiba ako nung pinili ko ito
pero itong kaibahan na ito ay aking paninindigan
hindi ko ikinakahiya na ako'y lumayo muna sa gulo
ikinatutuwa ko pa nga na di muna ako masasaktan

maaari nga na maraming sa aki'y di makakaintindi
dahil nga naman sa panahon ngayon, uso ata ang umibig
pero aamin ako, minsa'y ninais ko rin ito
pero bago pa mahulog ang loob ay bumitaw muna ako

ngunit di niyo ba naisip na ilaan na lang ang sarili
sa taong sigurado kang mamahalin ka ano man ang mangyari?
di niyo ba naisip na masakit na
ang paulit ulit na paglaglag ng puso mo at ang madaliang pagsauli nito?

ikabibilib ko lamang ang taong makakapagsabi sa aking puso
na panahon na upang sumama ito sa pagpapatakbo ng buhay ko
pag ito'y mangyari na, sana nga yun na ang taong hinintay
ang taong binuo ng Panginoon para sa isang tulad ko

ugh..

yeah yeah...i do..i do miss you...*sigh
wishing you do too

you say i'm a bitch like it's a bad thing :p

oUt of rEach

just a phase..and that single, sweet, unforgettable phase which was you is one of the most cherished phases of my life..and i thank you for that.. for the laughs, the jokes, for being a friend, and sometimes for me you were a little more, and still i am grateful.. you never knew it but you came at the right time and bailed me out during one of my lower moments in life..i never told you but you made me smile for no reason, laugh out loud at the simplest of things, focus when people around me couldn't and be inspired once again by something real..

but you are only a face...only a phase..only a smile..only a dream..out of reach for i never had your heart and you never had mine..and i wanna say goodbye to that period, to that stage, i'm closing the chapter..i just had to..i just have to..

i wanted to stop before i started dreaming, i needed a break before things got out of hand, i had to caution myself and not wait to get hurt, i needed to stay here or else i'd fall.. no matter how strong, heartless or weird i may seem, fragile is one of the words to describe me..and knowing me, i wouldn't want an unnecessary crack again..

with that i am bowing out..keeping with me the fantasy of what could have been yet standing firmly again on the ground of reality..but i am still grateful..and i still wouldn't close the book.. or throw away the goods, even though it has passed it's expiration date...

Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.

Jane Austen (1775 - 1817), Northanger Abbey

Rainbow Connection

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
and what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
and rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard
and answered when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it.
Look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us star gazing
and what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

All of us under its spell. We know that it's probably magic.

Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that called the young sailors.
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm supposed to be.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

woopee!! i finally remembered to get the lyrics of this song :) i have no idea why i like it so much.. haha..probably cause i wanna find it..the rainbow connection.. with the lovers and the dreamers.. hehe!! imma post something again soon...

rain on my sunny day

last december 3, 2005 our family was hit hard by two contradicting emotions --> elation and grief..

my cousin was set to walk down the aisle at 3.30pm that saturday and she did.. but on 12noon that same day, we were all shocked and greatly grieved by the news of our tito's death.. we tried our best to go on with the wedding, not telling the bride, her dad (cause my tito was his bro) and our lola (the mom of my tito).. but one by one they all had to know after the wedding and you can just imagine how terribly painful that felt..

one weird thing about that day was the super sunny weather but the very strong rains... it seemed to reflect what our family was feeling that day..happy for someone close to us who would start a new life with her husband, and sad for our tito's beautiful life has ended...

my tito art, died of a massive heart attack.. though he was experiencing chest pains for a while, his death was very much unexpected.. at the age of 65, he left his wife and three grown-up children, and two of them were set to marry next year..during the morning of the day of his death, he looked well enough to be able to get past his previous mild heart attack and go home soon..and he actually said he would.. no one realized that HOME for him that day would mean a very different thing from our house in proj.4 or their house in Lucena..he went home with God, free from the pain he felt and the struggles he may face in our world.. his death, though unexpected by his family, was actually peaceful and prepared.. first of all he set up this business which he already left to his son, another for his wife, and then he helped his other son secure a house, and he already met with his daughters future husband... and he also died knowing that he was well-loved and he left a family who also knew that they were loved..

seeing another person in the family made me realize that 'hey, life is fleeting' and there is only so much years left to make a difference, leave a dent, and have a legacy. my tito art was like that.. a man who made a difference in the workplace, a good example as a father and as a brother, and one who raised his children well and left with all of his brothers, sisters and pamangkins an image of someone to look up to and probably someone they could all be willing to follow.. :)