Funny Little Stories I Write to the Moon

Another year's about to end, and 2012 is rumored to be the end of days (hahahaha, let's party like it's 2012), add that to the fact that Facebook has forced me to reminisce thanks to the timeline, all these things lead me to realize that things have ended up smooth sailing after all.

I started this blog a freshman in college (Ateneo), when I was a not so naive yet a little stupid and jaded 16 year old who decided to break up with her boyfriend the summer before college due to priorities (wow, matuuure haha). Come 2nd and 3rd year college, I find myself transformed into a closet hopeless romantic with a bunch of poems and a broken heart (different boy this time haha, tsk tsk). And I graduate from college, sort of confident, definitely more mature, less insecure at least and decided to take a year off before medical school. Fast forward to today, I'm on my third year and in a school I love (still Ateneo) with no major problems (except probably weight gain) and in a stable relationship (with someone I wrote about as a freshman in college, sluuuut, haha no not really haha.) and happy. My 2004 self wouldn't have believed any of this.

And so if the world does end in 2012 (which I really don't believe by the way, I don't think God appreciates us "timing" Him.) I'll be okay. Seems like I've been doing an ok job of "living my life to the full" during my good days (not everyday). And if this emo-ish poem I posted in multiply waaaay back isn't evidence enough of how much I've changed, I'm just grateful I no longer have "funny little stories I write to the moon."

Reminder: Cast all your cares upon Him

Being the eldest who's stuck in medical school while your family is having financial problems tops my list of things I feel guilty about. And the past few weeks have been extra hard since Christmas parties are just around the corner, there are a few months left before all the outings and parties people have planned before clerkship (aka the year we start donating our lives to the hospital) and the discovery that my parents have debt (something we never had since the year I was born). As much as I would like to help my parents, I can't, I chose this life and my parents are rooting for me. A big part of me wishes I get to contribute financially, and another part of me wishes we had money so I get to celebrate before I lose my social life completely. It's selfless vs selfish, and it's a weird tug of war feeling, and i'm stuck in it. Since then everyday has been a struggle, I lose focus in class (but I can attribute that to the Gynecology module which is thankfully over), I stay up at night looking for part time internet jobs, or compute how much allowance I need to save. It has been hard because money was not much of an issue before, and now that i'm older and probably more aware, I feel its burden. Thankfully, just today, I found out I got a part time job. And it involves writing, which contrary to what I wanted to believe, is something I'm still very much in love with. And it involves writing about health, which of course is something I am passionate about, hello I am studying to become a doctor after all. All this a day after I told Karlo, maybe I should cast all my cares upon God, just like the song my parents taught me as a kid, which goes like this--
I cast all my cares upon you
I lay all of my burdens down at your feet,
Anytime I don't know, what to do
I will cast all my cares upon you


And just like that, I am reminded that I have a great God. Maybe that's something I should never forget again. And just as I embark on this extra adventure, I will cast all my cares upon Him.

:)

Care Package

I am proud of making my first ever care package :) A whole lot of credit is due of course to Mimi, Aisa and Anix, because without them I wouldn't have pulled this off.

My dad told me that relationships are a marathon, and I told him I never imagined myself looking forward to the loooong road ahead with someone. But with Karlo, it has been easy. Yes, there are a whole lot of ups and downs and moments of wanting to give-up (on my part mostly haha). Yet looking back, it hasn't been a treacherous road nor has it been boring.

So who would've thought that after 5 years of friendship we'd end up together, and after 2 years of "love" it still has been great and hopefully it'll continue to be. Guess what i'm saying is i'm happy and i'm thankful, and although i know this cheesy side of me is because i am "hormotional" now, i'm actually looking forward to the long haul and to all the other adventures we'd embark on together.

Happy Anniversary :)

Chance Traveller

I'm blessed enough to be in Medical School, and yet extra blessings arrive through my Tito and Tita who randomly decided to bring me along in Singapore (after already bringing me to Hong Kong last year). I wanted to transfer to Singapore a few years back, took the MCAT, applied to Duke-NUS and i even toyed with the idea of working there if I didn't pass. BUT, here I am in the Philippines and being in Singapore (no matter how much I enjoyed) reminded me how satisfied and happy I am even though I ended up staying here. :)

A trip to SG isn't complete without the follow

ing:

A picture with the Merlion

Chilling at night at Palawan Beach, Sentosa

Riding the Cable Car

Universal Studios

Catching The Lion King at Marina Bay Sands :)

And of course SHOPPING :)

'Til the next surprise trip :)

Thinking of you, and how you'll always make me smile.

because i fell hard for your imperfections. :)

i don't believe in the idea of soul mates or love at first sight.

but i believe that, if you're lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you.

Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together :)

adapted from imgfave pic:

Happy thought to end the night ♥

blog dump.

continuous blogging/rambling/ranting in the wee hours of the morning.

feels like college.

this is what a real weekend does to me when it does not go as planned. :|

...

p.s.

i'm a little depressed that my dad deleted the pic of the first ever bouquet of flowers i got and the first ever gift that mattered on valentine's day. (before sending it to me, because it wasn't at par with his standards). hay i just wanted to relive it.

i have the memory, but i will never get the pic back. frustrating much.

and i will probably never get flowers again. i feel that unlucky. haha. and if i do get, i'll feel it's just 'cause of guilt. :(

plus i will remember to get the pics i want from my dad asap, before they get subjected to "They're not that pretty i will delete them even if they have sentimental value, i will leave the pretty pics with no value instead" Haha. :|

Not so good night. maybe i should sleep.

Good luck exercising.

The ♥ Day/Month Pressure

I like to think that i am against the capitalist version of v-day where boys/girls have to give/get flowers, chocolates and be on dates 'cause i figured that showers of love should be given all year round and those who give a whole lot of effort on v-day have failed in all other days of the year.

And being in a relationship would remove the pressure of the single awareness day stuff.

Instead it made me realize that i do like to celebrate love in a different kind of way once a year, and that i do like showers of cheesiness or romance even once in a while. not the girlfriend that has no trace on twitter, and gets little or no public expressions of love, who doesn't get random e-mail messages, and who has to ask to be with her boyfriend to make up for future lost time.

And relationships have always scared me, cause i wouldn't know how to act or what to do. But apparently something inside me knows what i want and i get all weird when i don't get it. The worst part is how i always feel second best to something else or part of the ensemble instead of being the lead. Maybe i still have that hopeless romantic version in me, since i like giving gifts, pulling off surprises, family dinners, and just enjoying every moment together and i find out that the reality version of it isn't that perfect. And i find myself being all publicly cheesy even without being reciprocated, and it either gets tiring or embarrassing.

I'm not sure if this has been me all along or Med School has made me take a turn for the worse. haha. But i wish i was the girl friend whom i thought i was, where simple things are enough. Well they are, but i guess i have my bad days. And i wish there weren't any. But i still am a girl, and i still have days where i want to feel that i was worth the wait, the chase and all other things.... especially when i'm not the type of person who asks for it every single day of her life and especially when i wasn't even chased in the first place. And it's hard to explain that to a boy friend who was your best friend because his being there should be enough. It is. But i still don't want to be taken for granted.

So ♥ month adds extra pressure, extra sadness and extra weird raging hormones where i end up being the girl friend i didn't think i would be. Since i thought i'd get a better version of V-day when i was no longer single, i got that last year and maybe it was hard to top that, especially since the next following years breaks would be non-existent. And just like many years before, i can't wait for this month to be over.

falling off the bed

my body aches in so many places and i can't finish my work because there are certain positions where my back just complains. :|

ugh.

just when u thought as the day ended it would get better. :(

NO.

it's probably a sign...

hopefully of better days ahead.

...

what do you do...

when you realize

the one you thought was worth fighting for..

wasn't...

....you stay, because you f*in promised.

♥

i'm currently at the extremely hyper stage at 3 in the morning. oh no.

Medschool is a Marathon

And i've always been a sprinter. I like running fast and ending the race fast. So it's a struggle to have to go through pit stops, re-energize, refill, and then continue.

But MEDSCHOOL IS A MARATHON, i re-learned that today. And i need to finish and qualify. And I WILL FINISH on time.

And i will look damn good while doing it. :)

Happy New Year :)

It has been 11 days since 2011 has started and since i wasn't able to post on 1-1-11, i decided to delay my post for today 1-11-11. :)

A look back with Photos (I know i was supposed to finish this before the 31st, but busyness came first :D)

Day 18 - A photo of one of my classes

ASMIP - ASMPH Summer Management Internship Program

Although not med related, this was one thing i enjoyed. It gave me a feel of the corporate life and what i could be missing. And it was an experience, which made me enjoy more the fact that i'll have an MBA degree :)

Day 19 - A photo of me on a school trip - TRANSUMM Fieldwork

Day 20 - A Photo of something i enjoy doing - singing, being in musicals (I miss this)

Day 21 - me standing up

Day 22 - a photo of my town

Bangkok, Thailand in front of Central World Mall. Obviously not my town, but it is a dream of mine to come back here or maybe live here for a while :) SO hopefully one of these days i can count it as my town :)

Day 23 - a photo of my friend as a baby

-- Apparently i have none of these... haha :)

Day 24 - a photo of you that your hair looks nice in

Day 25 - a photo of a night you loved - Wine & Cheese Night w/ Med Friends - a well deserved break

Day 26 - a photo of your favorite weekend

I don't have a photo of it yet but my favorite weekend would be my Tagaytay day trip with the person i fell in love with :) Someday soon we'll have that trip :)

Day 27 - a photo of last summer

Day 28 - a photo of what you ate today

-- i don't take pictures of my food haha :))

Day 29 - a photo of someone you find attractive

Day 30 - a photo of when you were happy