some night!

crazy incoherence
i left myself vulnerable
spilled it all out like an open book
and it could have been better
but that was good enough

and that's all i could say
and i thank him for listening
not slapping me for bein' real' bad
shoot! and i thought i was the smart one..

everyone takes one big leap to fleeting doom
and i took mine
and now i'm back in my room
though memories of you are still in my mind
finally, i can really say i'm fine

questions posed by insomnia

i'm human...imperfect...a girl...fickle by birth...still a kid, allowed to talk about love and life once in a while...so spare me the questions on why i write things.. i just want to spill...especially on nights when everything is too quiet, and i'm all alone..and too sleepy to think straight.. why does this keep happening to me? and oh, will i fall asleep after this?

what's there to write when words have become too weak?
what's there to do when you've actually got no clue?
when do you find out that all is lost?
how do you decide on enough is enough?
when does the transition between love and like happen?
how does it happen?
when someone's left behind, can she still chase her dream?
is it too late to realize that you've always been my dream?
why is it hard to say a simple hello?
how can i turn back the pages of my book?
i know i can't so why do i keep wishing it?
what can i do with what is given to me now?
and why do we keep standing up, no matter how many times we've fallen?
why do we keep falling even though we know how to stand up?
why am i still up when i'm already done with my work?
is it ok if i keep asking these God?
is it still normal :p?

why can't i get you out of my head?
can it be 'cause you've already made your way to my heart?
how would i know?
and in reality, how would you know?
or is it possible that you already got the point?
and maybe just maybe, you already know..
and possibly, you just don't care?
am i right?
when do i find out?
and when do i stop?

answer this!!! thanks!!

http://kevan.org/johari?view=han08

down with love fever!

Fly me to the moon
Let me sing among those stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars

In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby kiss me

Fill my heart with song
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore

In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you

--------------------------------------------------
i just like the movie that's all.. and the crazy plot which basically revolves around making that really special someone love you..or the "untouchable" to notice you and fall in love with you.. hahaha..and it ain't that easy or extravagant in real life, but it does bring you face to face with the realities of how complicated and downright dangerous the game of love may be.. :) everyone agrees with me 'ere right? hehehehehehe!! so for now, i'm a down with love girL! fun fun!

phew

i woke up today, smiling..
finally.. :)
it's over..
i got over him..

all i had was to tell someone my story
and when i poured it all out
poof! the hurts said goodbye to me..

thanks ma! thanks for listening.. :)

split second silence

hush

i can't take it anymore
i fear that one day i might scream it out loud
if i let this one subtle remark pass me by

my house was never out of the way before
gee how time flies
or wow, my house flies? *wink

snap back to reality
i hear the noise rushing back
the music filling my ears
i'll forget it all again
just for tonight

no matter how hard i try
you still manage to hit me
where?
the center, which pumps blood to the rest
my poor already broken and sloppily glued up heart

laughter
how weird is it to be a teen?
how hard is it to be a girl?

i'd get by
just watch me
i'd grow up
wait and see

doesn't mean i have to get roses

yesterday was valentine's day.. hearts day.. love day.. single awareness day.. or whatever you wanna call it.. and as a lot of ppol may know, i am not mr. valentine's number one fan, whoever or whatever he or she is.. it's a little too overrated for me.. not because i'm single. not 'cause i didn't have a date..not 'cause i had to stay in rehearsals 'til 11pm.. simply because we don't need just one day to show love, remember love or whatever thing about love we're supposed to commemorate on valentine's day..

the sad twisted reality is that when you're single you hate the holiday 'cause it reminds you that you're still alone...when you're hitched, you have so many expectations for your partner and you end up dissapointed in the end..only a few people get lucky and have a valentine's day worth remembering..

..and yeah, this year i am one of them.. :) how did i spend my love day? i gave the day to those who loved me with or without roses and with or without the valentine dinner.. i spent it with my single and not so single girlfriends in ateneo! and the day, no matter how exhausting, is worth remembering.. all we needed was a mat, a few hotdogs, chips, guesstures and each other. that simple concoction became my best valentine's day ever.. far more special than the roses i received when i was 4th grade, a better keepsake than my three valentine's days as a non-single girl, and more laughs and more stories than any usual first valentine date..

great! i fell in love with valentine's day yesterday..finally.. something to remind me that v-day ain't all bad..this i'll definitely look back to.

u-turn

oh, so that's how a police report works...and in tagalog too..

the accident happened at 4:00pm..and by 7pm we finally got to shakey's.. we almost missed it..damn that annoying motorcyle driver who insisted on bringing it to the precinct... we had to go all the way to camp caringal from katipunan.. when nothing major happened.. i don't even think anything minor happened...just that big scratch on the back of harm's lancer.. i just don't get why motorcycle drivers are so reckless when they could actually die 'cause of that.. thank God we were making a u-turn and backing up slowly...haay..that's a one of a kind experience.. kudos to karlo who accompanied us girls (harm, lara, iea and me) to camp caringal.. and thanks gel for still treating us to pizza and ice cream afterwards.. :)

what a day!

oh..and my dad's ayt again...and i get to go to rehearsals tomorrow..finally...if no accidents happen again..how i pray..

incoherence.

i woke up at 12nn. rushed to get ready for rehearsals, then i remembered, i already said i wasn't going today. i had a family thing. the last of my absences. yeah. so many text messages. have to answer all. my bill, i think it's over the limit. grr.. why did i get a line?! wish i had prepaid again..or at least an extra phone. have to save money.have to diet. have to exercise! why do i keep forgetting? damn. have to go to church tomorrow and bring dad's laptop. oh how i wish i have my own laptop! if i get my own, cool, such fun. hehe! checking my multiply site. giving bro soccer tips! ha, like he needs it! hahaha. sana manalo sila. oh well. soccer tournament tomorrow. oh, i hafta go. my feet hurt. damn, stress. i'm leaving at 10pm to fetch uncle at airport. i can't wait for sweet charity to show! cool. guys watch it ah! ur really gonna enjoy it. haaay, i worked my ass of for it. hahaha.. a bit.. but kudos to the cast! the best! and the director, really professional and hardworking! cool! she's strict and she gets mad at me at times hehe..tsktsk! but she's really good. hay, i don't miss going out on fridays or saturdays for that matter. i'm falling in love with the house again.and yeah i do sleep on the couch. damn. wonder when i'll sleep in my room again. sige, i won't go to the airport! i'm kinda lazy. what am i saying na? haha, lost..lost in the silence and at the same time the noise from my brother. hay. shhh.. gotta go. need presence of mind.

forced laughter.

yep, i'm stressed out but bring it on.
if they can survive hell weeks, i could too.

just a little bit more and i'll be on the up and up again.
can't wait
i just can't wait for a loooong and deserved break.
i hope my grades work with me this time around.

*sigh.

come fly with me
i said hello at the exact moment you said goodbye
you ran back when i started to fly
if time may allow it
and if our broken hearts fit
that'll be the day
when together we'll fly away
hearts and hands held tight
let's go, we have to take flight

who says u need bOoze to party?

just came from camille's house in urdaneta village makati!!! we had a swimming 'party' and played guesstures (a modified kind of charades) and some of the guys played poker.. the water was super cold in the pool and it was deep and i couldn't swim!! boohoo for me! but it was all good!!! thanks to cyndz and steven's first anniversary, we all had a reason to celebrate!! :)

the cool part was for the first time, i went to a house party where booze wasn't served at all.. and we were noisy, crazy and not under the influence.. i simply loved it!! finally, everyone gets to go home sober..no one has a hang over in the morning or whatever..i missed that kind of fun.. the kid kind of fun, where you're allowed to express your unpoised self to all your super fun blockmates!

thanks guys for giving me a weekend to remember.. :)

P.S. i seriously believe we won that 2nd round of charades!! grrr.. paolo!! cheater!! hahaha..

two minute intermission

getting all set and fired up for the "hell" days that are coming my way..or should i say hell weeks.. i just hope our chillax tomorrow would push through!! i terribly need that.. i'm too tired to post a long one..gonna get some shut eye first..'til next time!! when better stories come my way :)

feb na!

terribly in need of this:
(L2 party!!)

and always missing this:
(ninjas, the family i learned to love)

oh!! and watch this:
(Sweet Charity)