it's not out of line.

i don't get why guys don't get the fact that i don't like hovering. it's simple as that. i'm not stressing about it or making it a problem. maybe i just don't express myself as well as you do but now that i've got no harry potter to bother me while talking to my friends, i get ME now, it's clear as that. I ABHOR HOVERING. girls get it. thank you.

it's not that i don't want to

flashbacks... painful ones... filled my mind today. i guess i'm still trying to find my peace. it has been a while since i got stressed at home.. cried my eyes out while writing a philo paper... then felt bad about a friend.. then things just went haywire in my head.. and well maybe in my heart. so my mind decided to do a replay... and here's what i found in all the mess..

The perfect words never crossed my mind,
'cause there was nothing in there but you,
I felt every ounce of me screaming out,
But the sound was trapped deep in me,
All I wanted just sped right past me,
While I was rooted fast to the earth,
I could be stuck here for a thousand years,
Without your arms to drag me out

.... no i won't wait forever....

and that song just hit like crazy.. that was just perfect. perfect. if only i knew that back then. and here i am, years have passed and i know that i won't wait forever. BUT i was willing to. just the mere fact, makes me feel different about you. maybe i am lying when i say that things are back to normal. and i know that it's been a while. but flashbacks are worth it. and waiting.... it's not that i don't want to... i just know that there's nothing worth waiting for anymore...

on a bad day.

what makes me feel lucky on a bad day:
1) a good friend who'll hug you
2) someone cute who'll make you smile
3) laughter shared with new friends
4) winning a BOx volleyball game
5) and macky escalona doing side sit-ups with no shirt on

*sigh. i guess it was a good day after all.

Thanks D! i love it :)

So Contagious
Artist(Band):Acceptance

Oh no, this couldn't be more unexpected
And I can tell that I've been moving in so slow
Don't let it throw you off too far
Cause I'll be running right behind you

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line?)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

Oohhh, when I'm around you I'm predictable
Cause I believe in loving you at first sight
I know it's crazy but I'm hoping to..
To take a hold of you

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line?)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

Oh you're everything I'm wanting
Come to think of it, I'm aching
On account of my transgression..
Will you welcome this confession?

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line?)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line?)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

multiply maintenance

thank God i have blogger. haha. since multiply is currently unavailable due to site maintenance, i find myself with nothing to do amidst all the school work i have to accomplish. haha. yes, cramming at its finest. i'm kinda more excited with the field trip than i am able to focus on finishing the lab reports.. which is probably not due tomorrow... or maybe that's wishful thinking. besides that i feel crappy after that physics long test. ack! math and me.. not a good pair at all! at least i can look forward to tomorrow! the BEACH! again. haha. although i'm not suuuuper excited, it's just far better than any other ordinary day in school :) well there's nothing more to say i guess. and i still have to pack. and soo many people are online.. maybe it's multiply's fault too :P

the weirdest thing about me...

i'm a cynical biatch when it comes to love and the like..i don't like mushy movies that much and i don't swoon as often as other girls do. i'm no hopeless romantic and yes i know i'm jaded...
BUT i fall willingly for or maybe at least start liking people i know i can't have. and those that don't want me back.
weird. but that's me.

i just realized that at the weirdest of moments. haha.

Thank God that hasn't happened again. And i hope it never will.

just a really nice song... that i really have to share :)

Rest of my Life
Michelle Featherstone

Here we are,
Staring straight into tomorrow's eye's,
What do you see?
Can you see the same as me?

We hold hands,
We take walks and talk,
And laugh about things.
I'll tell you what,
This could be the way,
That every day was meant to be.

I don't want to go,
I don't want to stay one night,
Or one day.
So i'll stay the rest of my life.

I don't want to leave,
I don't want to be one night,
Or one day.
So i'll stay the rest of my life

How 'bout that,
Waking up every morning with me.
Spend our time drinking coffee,
Speaking softly as the days go by.


The rest of my life

Let's just let it start

The rest of my life...

that girl in the mirror

i ask myself sometimes what i'm trying to do with my life. there's a bad side to me that i feel is starting to equal my being good. well if you get what i mean. i am trying to be serious here. :) i know my parents place no pressures on me with the fact that i am a pastor's kid. which is why i probably love being one. and i love God extremely. He's everything to me. but still i guess every person has a rebel inside them but i don't get why i have one. i know i have no deep grudges against my parents.. and i know i am a good enough daughter... but my lungs and liver would probably disagree. and i no longer want to dive into details. thing is i've always had that part of me and i've always wanted to shake it off. but i don't. it's a really big difference...wanting something and not doing anything about it. now i want to be strong enough.. but it is my last year in college.. and maybe my last year in the Philippines. maybe things will change then. so can i just stay like this for now.. crazy. semi-rebellious. and yet compassionate and headstrong on the other side. schizophrenia yes. although i do wish someday that this would end. and when i stare at my reflection in the mirror, i'll love the whole me.

sense of nostalgia

i'm trying really hard to finish 6 lab reports that are all due tomorrow. and i'm really grateful that my groupmates in physics are crammers too. haha. but for the 5 other lab reports i'm individually doomed! i have almost all the research done, but i haven't written anything in my lab notebook. and then i realized this is going to be my LAST first stressful night of my LAST first semester in Ateneo. yes i got sentimental. thanks to paolo p. for posting orsem pics in multiply... my nostalgia worsened. haha. and i'm in my last stretch. finally. although i know this is gonna be my hardest year ever but it's gonna be worth it. because i'll have to end good, if not perfect. and maybe i'm posting this too early in the year or maybe this is going to be the first of many nostalgic college related posts. haha. wow, i'm graduating and i'm scared, excited and thankful. yes, this is it. :)

what if?

what if....
the world asked me as all my options run around in my head
memories passed
decisions made
stories told
things lost

and i replied slowly..
damn. what if?

and there epiphany struck
i know i'm never gonna ask that question again.
that's that.