it's not that i don't want to

flashbacks... painful ones... filled my mind today. i guess i'm still trying to find my peace. it has been a while since i got stressed at home.. cried my eyes out while writing a philo paper... then felt bad about a friend.. then things just went haywire in my head.. and well maybe in my heart. so my mind decided to do a replay... and here's what i found in all the mess..

The perfect words never crossed my mind,
'cause there was nothing in there but you,
I felt every ounce of me screaming out,
But the sound was trapped deep in me,
All I wanted just sped right past me,
While I was rooted fast to the earth,
I could be stuck here for a thousand years,
Without your arms to drag me out

.... no i won't wait forever....

and that song just hit like crazy.. that was just perfect. perfect. if only i knew that back then. and here i am, years have passed and i know that i won't wait forever. BUT i was willing to. just the mere fact, makes me feel different about you. maybe i am lying when i say that things are back to normal. and i know that it's been a while. but flashbacks are worth it. and waiting.... it's not that i don't want to... i just know that there's nothing worth waiting for anymore...