LIE

whoever said life was a breeze would be lying. which is probably why nobody i know ever said that. at the end of a bad day, there's nothing anyone can say to make bad things go away. they're there. if they do go away, you know there'd be new ones when you walk on other paths. so i've learned to let go. i planned a revamp, one where i'd delete things i'd rather not remember. so i DELETED the blog that all started 'cause of a taxi ride. yep, all 83 posts gone.

but then, it's still here in my heart. EVERYTHING remains. and i'm not talking about the posts, i'm talking about every little painful detail of life. it stays there. as a mark, a scar. a memory.

and well life is NOT a breeze. it just isn't. and it will never be. somehow you know it is easier to fail life than to live it to the full. and yet we continue to try. and i guess that's what's great about people, giving up is always the last resort. and we die before we reach that option. so i don't really know where i'm going with this post. maybe it's chem fever again, the fact that i failed another long test. it's plain draining so i decided to focus all my energy on subjects i can ace. and pray to God i keep the qpi i need.

or maybe i'm just tired and i don't get it. outside i'm always this happy bubbly perky person. but inside, i lose myself to bouts of anger, sadness and well hurt. whoever says life is easy probably never loved, never risked and never cared. and that's plain inhuman. so i'm ok with being an imperfect lost being as long as i know i'm human and that God loves me. with that in mind, i can sleep.