hiding doesn't help

i wanted to QUIT.
heck i still want to.
and if you're thinking, maybe it's just rehearsals or school. well you're WRONG.
i want to QUIT LIFE.

and it's not something that's easy to say or something easily shaken off.
i'm too tired of everything.
so i HID.
i shut off the radio, turned off the lights and put the blanket over me.
come morning, i didn't go to school. i gave up friday.

BUT it's still there. life won't leave me. so i HAD to LIVE it.
i felt sick, with make believe fever and headache.
begrudgingly by afternoon i made it to history class.
right before class ended, i got called for recitation and well i ACED it.
so i got happy and went shopping.

and at night i had a great time with the family

so there, hiding doesn't help

BUT it still doesn't change the fact that i want to quit.
since i no longer believe in "tomorrow's better"
i have no idea where i'll end up.
and i don't know how i became like this.
maybe it's because CHEM KILLS ME
or i'm just plain tired and low.

someday if i do get better
i'll look back on today and hopefully with a lesson learned
but now? i've got nothing