stuff to think about when you're up at 4 am downloading SATC

i like going through an old friend's facebook once they've added me.. it's nice to know where they are and how they've been.. if i miss them that much i post somethin on their wall to try and catch up, stuff like that... but a friend of mine, specifically my ex's sister has this whole fam thing on her facebook with icho, his girlfriend/wife i dunno anymore and their 2 kids... and it doesn't hurt my heart or anything it's just i wonder why i haven't progressed that much in the love department.. i know i say i enjoy being single, i guess i really do.. (ask me again after i've had much sleep). but now, 4 in the morning feeling fat and well fatter still, it's hard not to feel down and lonely (lonely, NOT alone..clearing that up).. it sure is weird thinking bout this after my fave couple just broke up and the fact that i just turned down a date... nights are annoyingly hard for me nowadays since i sleep in the day and i'm up and alone at night supposedly studying for the MCAT... and i end up with bad headaches and a crappy attitude.. *sigh... i need my body clock back so that i can EXERCISE, REVIEW and FEEL pretty again (feeling pretty and being pretty are two diff things, i AM pretty i just don't feel it LOL)... crushless once again, i no longer revel in idiotic yet romantic fantasies, and i guess that adds to the fat feeling and what not.. and probably the fact that i still have my period. and it's just really bad to be up at four in the morning with no one to talk to and worse no one to dream about.. maybe when i feel like my happy confident self again imma decide to say yes to that date, work my ass off to review and make myself feel pretty by exercising.. ugh i sooo abhor my period. and i miss ME.. and miss the day too.... it's hard living in the dark.. i'm no vampire. and i've started to blab.. *sigh. stop.

on a super unrelated note... can i just say, i love my bangs :P