the journey of lost causes

i told karlo this morning that i wanted to walk aimlessly around campus... just like what bjorn did over the summer.. and suddenly everybody started talking about their aimless walks and i realized that i already had mine.. one too many... i guess that's what i do, i walk aimlessly around if i feel LOST in life or if i'm drowning in stress, fear, sadness or anger. my first failure ever caused me to walk around aimlessly.. i called it my journey of lost causes. see every time i walk that particular walk, i feel down.. i have usually failed myself. me. the lost cause.

BUT. this morning... i wasn't feeling any of that. as a matter of fact, i felt quite the opposite. i was happy, i've been smiling more now. and yet i craved for that aimless walk.

so maybe there's no such thing as the journey of lost causes. because, there's always a reason for picking up yourself and just walking away. the walks either bring you back to reality or take you out from it so that you get a better perspective.

i guess if i was able to have that aimless walk this morning, i would have thought about leaving everything behind and re-planning my life. i guess i got too bent on my plan A that i forgot i still have plan B to think about. and there is no such thing as a closed option. i have the most unlikely person to thank for bringing me back to my "kiddie heart and soul"... somehow he made me remember that it's still ok to dream, to get flattered, to swoon, to be obsessed, to love life in a young kind of way. my outlook was getting too old, far too old for my age. too happy or dare i say too settled. now i'm back here on earth.

i guess i didn't need that walk after all :)