excerpts

this feels nice, blogging again after a few days.. :) so what have i been up to? studying and rehearsals.. actually, studying, cutting class and rehearsals.. lol. after my 'emptiness' post, things haven't really changed. i have no idea why.. i feel kinda pissy about it 'cause i need my FOCUS back... i can't do anything right, even something i love like being a stage manager. :( i hope a new year will change things for me.. it usually does. it doesn't even feel like christmas.. especially with my lola deteriorating.. it feels so bad.. i can't even explain the feeling.. i hate being faced with the reality of mortality.. it just sucks (for lack of a better word) so right now, i have to be studying for microbio and i haven't even memorized any staining procedure. well it's kinda easy since i did most of 'em all on my own. hehe, love having a small lab class! but beyond all this, i need a break. i need a MEANINGFUL Christmas. and i pray i'll get one.