is secretly wishing

that my current version of prince charming will sweep me off my feet. :) and that it's gonna be for real because i've been done playing for quite a while now.. so when will i ever have some kind of fairytale on love? and i know this is happening now coz life is too stagnant...too quiet...too uncertain. and on my search for certainty i find myself weirdly attracted to falling in love with a prince who has a big heart and a reassuring smile. AND yet i know i'm never gonna marry him so what's wrong with a for now? the fact that it's mean. haha. sooo i now don't know where i'm going with this.. but one thing's sure gonna change, i'm gonna stop with the NOs and the quick criticisms about the littlest things.. i think i need to start seeing boys now.. hahaha. AND not in boys night outs or food trips, but friendly dates and crap. haha still can't say that straight.. but i will try dialling down the meanness, and the "i hate men 'tude" and start exercising.. yes, that's part of the plan.. haha :) and that's that.