realize...

ok now i get how important it is to stay focused on what u want along with having all the faith u need that u can trust God with everything, no matter how small it may seem... and i am trying to finish all the problem sets i need for chem... and sitting down here in front of the pc while on break gives me time to realize that there are so many things to be grateful for and that i shouldn't be complaining or being bummed bout anything.. it has been four years and my almost train wreck of a college life has had so many unexpected repairs, like the SOSE award for outstanding research (first prize baby!), being part of orgs that help me find out who i am, having so many friends that love, care and support me and make life sooo much better, and to have a family that loves me for me.. so it hasn't been bad, it has been great. the thing is we amplify the bad parts because we're human, imperfect and all.. but thankfully God's there to remind me, there's always a rainbow after the rain.. cheesy but true..

on the lighter side of life, i am thankful for parties as well since worries are forgotten in a way, and u get to share the love with friends.. and falling in LIKE is the most perfect thing in the world.. another thing i realized is how perfect it was that i decided to stay single my whole college life since my plans involve a one-woman show... for now at least.. my last relationships (committed or not) have been hellish roller coaster rides and i hate roller coasters.. so an inkling of hand holding and crap leaves me scared senseless and confused and oh come on , it was a little thing but i still do have that school girl crush.. someday imma find someone who'll make me realize that we're perfect for each other, now not just yet...

looking back, i can no longer afford to be sulky and annoyed...life has a lot of surprises and too many downs as well, but the ups and the beautiful moments make it so worth it... so im living in the present taking it one day at a time and trusting God for the scary things that are yet to come. it's gonna be good. :)