in the stillness of the night

...well not really. my brother's right beside me playing comp games so i can hear constant clicking and um game sounds.. haha. BUT to get to the point, i have to admit that although i work better and think better at night it's also where my worst moments happen. heartbreak, insecurities, crap. it all comes back at night. the most vulnerable moments of my life, what ifs included. i end up reading old blogs and feeling soooo different.. sometimes wishing i could go back, other times wishing that those things never happened. AND right now i'm in the middle of two lab reports but the effect of the "stillness" is still there. it's gonna be Christmas soon and i feel quite lonely.. weird. sad. and so unlike me. i miss .... i miss everything. can't wait for school to be over.