the real deal for me

i don't understand why the world tells us to be hitched the moment our hormones decide that we are attracted to a person of the opposite sex. in line with that, during family reunions the usual question would be, "may boyfriend ka na ba?".. and when you say no they never believe you.. so why ask in the first place?! why do people think that being single (even for 19 year olds like me or younger) is a lesser choice? well "titos and titas" (mostly titas) it's NOT. it's also an important choice, just like choosing to love. it's sad 'cause single people always end up thinking that something is wrong with them whether they're too fat, too intimidating or too smart. well in this age, people, there is nothing wrong!!

when i chose to fix my priorities, basically studies first, i had to decide against other commitments that will demand too much time and effort from me. partly it was because i had a bad relationship beforehand, but now it's just a choice, a much better one. if i decided that i can't handle both studies and a serious relationship at this exact moment, it's not because i'm hung up on someone or i hate boys or i couldn't risk getting hurt.. i get hurt a lot, and i survive even if i get up slowly.. for me it's always a big thing.. if i let you in, i trust you to accept every little tidbit of me.. and not too many can do that.. but hey, i'll accept every little tidbit about you..

dig this, i'm actually already thinking of the guy i'll be with and how i won't be able to be with him right now 'cause i'll be deciding to prioritize thesis time over time with him.. and that's just sad and really hard. but that's just for now. i didn't do it cause i wanted to be alone and fat.. haha.. some guy friends judge me by saying i'm too picky and that there are actually good guys "like them".. yeah there are good guys.. but dear guy friends, don't think so highly of yourself when you actually pull chairs AWAY from a tipsy girl just so y'all can laugh when she falls.. see? and i hear complaints from y'all 'bout tiny little tidbits in your relationship when actually true love and true commitment can surpass that.. we're still young, we're more childlike than mature. and i guess i accepted that fact and enjoyed it. i won't be a kid for too long and there's plenty of time to wait. and some guys there are worth the wait. so i don't need to say yes to every guy i like or smiles my way.. when i say yes, (for real yes to someone) it would be him. that person whom i'm gonna risk it with and spend the rest of my hectic and sometimes boring life with. time isn't worth wasting with someone who isn't THAT person.

so the next time people ask, maybe instead of saying NO and get teased or worse judged, i'll say i'm just waiting for the right person to come along. and aren't we all?